ADVICE

Up to date insight, tips and ideas for modern lives and relationships. From vulnerability to orgasm, pleasure and intimacy. From exploring complex emotions to better, more meaningful communication. From connection, real-world sex and empathy, to online dating and shame resilience, it’s all here.

Rekindling The Flame

Rekindling The Flame …when life gets in the wayDate nights are great.They can remind you of why you fell in love way back in the beginning, but not if you just sit there staring at each other, or worse still, anxiously waiting for terror to strike in the form of a text from your babysitter.The thing

Why Can't I Come During Sex?

Why Can’t I Come During Sex?*This article is referring exclusively to ciswomen & men”Why can’t I orgasm during sex?” She asks me…perplexed and bewildered.If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question, I’d not only be laughing all the way to the bank, I’d also be making sure everybody knew what

How to Initiate Sex

How To Initiate Sex Initiating sex can be uncomfortable for many of us. You may be the type who initiates by grabbing a part of your partner’s body when they least expect it – usually resulting in a slap or a shove and a NO! Perhaps you’re the begrudging “You know it’s been (insert number

How to Touch Like You Mean It!

How to Touch Like You Mean It! One of the most basic forms of human connection is touch. For so many of us it’s hard to imagine life without it. From erotic passion to profound love, there is no deeper expression of affection, emotion and eroticism. Sadly, so many of us are touch-starved, not only

Less Sex, Bad Sex & Sex Tech

Less Sex, Bad Sex & Sex Tech Recent stats show that young people are having less sex than any generation before them. Despite the so called ‘sex recession’ there is no evidence to suggest that other adult generations are also hit by this decline in carnal activities. In fact to the contrary, those over 55

Is everything we believe about monogamy wrong?

Is everything we believe about monogamy wrong? Last night I attended Open Love NY’s panel / discussion event with Wednesday Martin (author of Untrue and Primates of Park Avenue) and Christopher Ryan (Sex At Dawn) discussing their respective books and the data that suggests humans are hardwired for non-monogamy. TL;DR – Looking at the history

What does a sex therapist even do?

What does a sex therapist even do? I get some very funny reactions when I am at dinner parties and people find out what my job is. So many  wonder what I actually do in my sessions, followed up quickly by; “What kind of people do you see?”“What kinds of things do they want to

Vulnerability, The Last Taboo?

Vulnerability, The Last Taboo?   In fragile times, it’s often our most intimate and close relationships that suffer. Intimacy is the glue, the enhancer that gives us the drive to connect, and in many situations, also the factor that can be a passion killer for some and the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I

Getting Triggered in Relationships

Getting Triggered in Relationships   The word ‘triggered’ has been around a while now. Originally, it was used to describe responses arising from complex trauma that would activate complicated behavior, anxiety or panic disproportionate to the current situation.  But these days, it’s used more often to describe emotional responses to every-day complications in life. The

Sexual Fantasies… What Do They Mean?

Sexual Fantasies… What Do They Mean? Erotic fantasies are as common as daydreaming. Imagining ourselves in a hot tryst with a (several) flight attendant(s), being desired by strangers at a sex party, doing unspeakable things with a celebrity crush, being punished by a cruel owner or getting paid for sexual acts we’d never do in

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