Consent is a buzz word these days. In sexuality education and sex positive circles it’s thrown around with gay abandon, while its definition and its processes are in continuous formation. We are still debating and describing in detail what it … Continued

Many relationships counsellors will talk about ‘relationship values’. Relationship values are what motivates us to find fulfillment in a relationship. For example, security is often a strong value people hold about intimate relationships. Without this, the relationship feels unfulfilling because … Continued

Erotic fantasies are as common as daydreaming. Imagining ourselves in a hot tryst with a (several) flight attendant(s), being desired by strangers at a sex party, doing unspeakable things with a celebrity crush, being punished by a cruel owner or … Continued

My post just before the holidays late last year was a reflection on the struggles of having unresolved feelings during ‘happy’ times. When we don’t join in with the ‘happy-happy-joy-joy’ we can feel we are the odd one out. … Continued

One of the most frequently asked questions I get from women who come to see me for counselling is about their ability to orgasm. Orgasm, it seems, is the main outcome or goal many of us focus on when discussing … Continued

Erections (or the absence of) are a delicate issue for those with penises, especially those who identify as men. (Yup, not all people with penises identify as men – but that is for another post). In fact, penis and erection … Continued

Non monogamy is all the rage; that is…consensual non monogamy. In Australia recently the ABC aired a terrific series called You Can’t Ask That – where taboos surrounding sex work, gender, relationships, body image, mental health, religion and race were … Continued

I get some very funny reactions when I am at dinner parties and people find out what my job is. So many  wonder what it is I actually do in my sessions with private clients. Followed up quickly by; “What kind of … Continued

My work in sex education is mostly in the adult sector. This surprises a lot of people because when we think of  sex education, we think of kids. However, increasingly I am noticing adults need a great deal of support … Continued

Ahhh – spontaneous sex. Even the phrase alone conjures images of youth, tropical holidays, cocktails by the beach and random acts of lust in the back of cars. The longing many of us have for spontaneous sex is not so … Continued

This weekend I spent 24 hours in Facebook jail. That means I was blocked from using the service and warned with a stern, wagging finger from Zuckerberg and his buddies that what I was sharing was not … Continued

If you could take a pill to eat Brussels Sprouts when you don’t like them, would you take it? If you could take a pill to make yourself watch sports when you actually preferred painting, would you do it? If … Continued

Last week this email arrived in my inbox… Hi Cyndi I am in a great relationship with my partner, we have been together for a few years and things for us are pretty good – but we really just struggle in … Continued

In my practice as a qualified sex therapist & coach, I meet many women who struggle with their sexual pleasure. After all, we live in a culture that really doesn’t value and prioritise pleasure in any way, so sometimes it’s … Continued

One of the most basic forms of human connection is touch. For so many of us it’s hard to imagine life without it. From erotic passion to profound love, there is no deeper expression of affection, emotion and eroticism. Sadly, … Continued

When sex makes headlines, it’s usually for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. Do a Google News search (see images below) for sex and you will see endless examples of sex gone bad; shame making articles, heinous violations, articles espousing bigger-better-faster-stronger, or … Continued

I just had the most astounding correspondence with a so called ”journalist” from a well-known Australian women’s magazine, wanting to ask me about owning the ”walk of shame”. When I asked her exactly what she wanted me to comment on, … Continued

One of the most powerful lessons I have received in my life and that I draw on heavily in counselling and education with clients is working with the notion of uncertainty. Uncertainty is harrowing in so many ways. It brings … Continued

Sex Positivity, can mean many things to many people. To me, being sex-positive means I embrace the notions of pleasure and sexuality in an affirmative light. I see sex and pleasure as integral parts of the human condition, and not something … Continued

In the West we confuse Beauty with Value, Worthiness and Relevance. Yet unlike these ‘things’, Beauty is fickle, subjective and impermanent. But Passion ( Beauty’s lesser valued counterpart and source of inspiration) is cultivated and refined over a lifetime. Passion … Continued

Hi folks I am seeking your stories for my book. How do YOU manage to work towards maintaining a sex positive life in a sex negative culture? What kinds of things do you do to help you on the days … Continued

Dear Tropfest Team and  Matt Hardie, It is with both sadness and national embarrassment that I write to you regarding your appraisal of the film Bamboozled- which won Tropfest this year. While I would like to congratulate you – instead … Continued

People are often curious about my work. One of the questions I am most frequently asked is ‘do you see mostly couples’? In the beginning this surprised me, I couldn’t understand why people freely associated sexual enquiry primarily with people … Continued