...when love is just not enough
I've been called 'the expert's expert'. I help people create thriving personal lives. Connected intimate relationships. And nourishing sex lives. Nothing is off limits or taboo. I provide a truly unique service to clients across the globe.
You'll learn to make sense of your feelings, connect to your body, understand your thoughts, and own your pleasures and desires to create the intimacy, connections, freedom and sex life you really, truly want.
Are you ready?
- Are you in a sexless relationship?
- Are mis-matched sex drives or desires are causing problems?
- Do you love your partner but experience deep relational problems like infidelity or bad communication?
- Do you struggle to create and sustain meaningful relationships and friendships?
- Is online dating getting you down? Or you don't know where to start with dating?
- Is it hard to find a suitable partner or worry you’ll be single forever?
- Are you longing for sexual confidence and skills but don’t know where to start?
- Is intimacy awkward, embarrassing and causing ongoing problems?
- Do you struggle to maintain sexual interest in intimate relationships?
- Are you in a kinky/alt relationship and need non-judgmental, affirming support?
- Do you want to feel more 'in your body' and connected to your erotic self?
- Are you feeling stuck in life and it’s affecting your sex life and your relationships?
- Are you worried that your kinks and interests are problematic or out of control?
- Are you a sex worker /dating a sex worker and need affirming relationship support?
Our sessions are grounded in the fundamental belief that pleasure, intimacy and relationships are an essential part of a joyful life. Sessions are streamlined and tailored for your unique situation. As a highly-trained and sought-after sexologist, embodiment consultant and counselor, all of my specialist knowledge, wisdom and experience is at your disposal, including:
- therapeutic discussions and techniques
- strategies for increasing self worth and exploring pleasure
- healing trauma and the erotic
- reclaiming shame
- tons of scientifically-backed sex information and education
- plus skills development to support you in relationships, intimacy, communication, emotional and mental processing.
The essence of our work together is the rich, embodied integration of body, mind, and heart. We’ll look at what’s getting in your way, we’ll bust a few myths, and help you take action and create a program for your lifestyle, personality, time frame, ability, resources, and health. I offer in-person and online options to suit our schedules.
You'll love the gentle, compassionate yet powerful approaches I use. Enough therapeutic connection to feel safe & held, enough scientifically-backed education and guidance to stop you floundering and just the right amount of encouragement and permission to get you up & out of your funk. Our counseling & coaching is generally short-medium term. Working with me is more streamlined than traditional therapy, so with your commitment and practice and my expertise, you'll be on your way from our first session.
Whatever your relationships status, age, orientation or desire – working with me is a rich and fulfilling experience designed to align what you want, where you want to be, and how to get you there skillfully, joyfully and effectively.
reasons people see me... click below
Couple's Sex Therapy & Relationship Coaching
- *Reinvigorating a long-term relationship
- *Working through relationship difficulties
- *Reducing conflict
- *Learning to connect
- *Dealing with boredom in relationships
- *Managing your sex life
- *Making time for fulfilling sex
- *Improving communication
- *Dealing with differences in libido
- *Dealing with changes in aging
- *Managing / recovering from infidelity / cheating
- *Processing difficult emotions including betrayal, hurt, jealousy & anger
- *Dealing with changes in a relationship
- *Exploring function/dysfunction and sexual satisfaction
- *Exploring open relationships, polyamory and non-monogamy
- *Exploring kink and alternative sex practices - including lifestyle parties
- *Starting and ending relationships
- *Learning about your lovers’ body
Personal Counseling & Life Coaching
- *Life management and generally getting-your-shit-together
- *Healing family of origin wounds & inner child work
- *Managing grief, loss & sadness
- *Overcoming guilt & stuckness
- *Managing change, discomfort & uncertainty
- *Developing self-trust, intuition and self-care strategies
- *Unpacking shame, privilege, gender & power (all genders)
- *Better communication for fulfilling friendships & relationships of all kinds
- *Cultivating and engaging emotional intelligence
- *Embodied living for more joy
- *Overcoming procrastination and distraction
Individual's Sex Therapy & Coaching
- *Low desire / Low libido (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder)
- *Mismatched desire
- *Painful sex (vaginismus / dyspareunia / anal anodyspareunia)
- *Erection problems / erectile dysfunction
- *Orgasm problems / anorgasmia (too much/too many/ not enough/not at all)
- *Arousal difficulties (not getting wet / hard)
- *Reconnecting to pleasure after abuse
- *Healing trauma and shame
- *Ejaculation problems (premature ejaculation)
- *Trouble in relationships and intimacy
- *Communication problems
- *Intimacy problems
- *Navigating online dating
- *Discovering sex & dating after divorce
- *Exploring sexuality, pleasure & aging
- *Lack of knowledge/confidence/skill
- *Explore deeper and more connected sexuality
- *Learn about Tantra/spiritual sexuality
- *Struggling with sexual confidence/body image
- *Concerns about porn consumption/seeing sex workers/ attending sex parties/hook-up sex
- *Unpacking infidelity
- *Alternative approaches to sex practices
- *Kinky sex
- *Dating while a sex worker
- *Dating a sex worker
- *Exploring queer identity / gender
- *Coming out/changing identity
- *Adult sex ed for the 21st century
- *Exploring troublesome turn-ons & turn-offs, fantasies & mental/emotional health
- *Understanding/support for problematic/erratic sexual behavior (sometimes called Sex Addiction)
Coaching & Counseling for Individuals and Relationships
I offer online sex therapy & counseling, couple's counseling & personal development somatic coaching to individuals, couples or small groups
- encrypted Zoom video online sessions for ease and confidentiality
- when appropriate, in person sessions will be in Manhattan, via invitation.
Check out this handy tool to see the time difference between your location and New York City.
Sessions are focused on individual work, couples work or a combination of both, with relationship sessions and sexuality work separately or combined (depending upon your requirements).
If you're ready to get the pleasure you deserve... I'm ready for you!
First and foremost we identify your hopes and your problem/s then we work toward solutions. It’s amazing how many people try to change their situation without first establishing the incentives or problems. To that end, I offer specialized perspectives on topics many clinicians are not trained in or shy away from. Whether we are doing sexuality work, couples communication & conflict work or individual / life coaching work, I use various talk therapy techniques as well as embodiment / somatic (body-based) and emotional experiencing techniques as the tools for change. For sex therapy, there is no explicit touch involved.
Sessions are focused on the 'here and now' to help you develop skills and confidence where you need them most. Sometimes we look at history where knowledge from the past is holding you back in the present, but mostly we look at where you are today and where you want to be. Our work is deep and thorough. I draw on a range of ideas, tools, up-to-date clinical research and useful, transformative physical, mental and emotional practices to help you create a meaningful understanding of how you are and how to create change. If typical talk therapy leaves you feeling like you're going in circles with no action, you'll love working with me. We chat, we laugh, we talk about big stuff and practice incorporating new ideas, practices and ways of dealing with old problems. I'll challenge you, you'll get homework to try and with your commitment in between sessions, changes happen.
The benefit of a small, bespoke practice is the premium service offered and laser-fast support between sessions. Quick fixes, 'hacks' and endless talking are simply not going to cut it in these contexts, so you can be assured of the quality and laser-focused attention you are getting.
All sessions currenlty happen online via Zoom
In person sessions are by invitation only ; Monday - Thursday in upper Manhattan.
How Many Sessions are Needed?
People start seeing a change after the first session – generally 10-20 sessions is common. Our work together is short-to-medium term. We will co-create a therapeutic connection and really invest in getting you the change you seek. After you feel you've gotten to where you want to be in your own time, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like after that. In between sessions, you will have access to me via email and text, so you will feel fully supported all the way. Many people enjoy the ongoing relationship.
- *45/90 mins sessions
- *Packages of 5 x 90 min sessions for individuals & couples - 3 month expiration
- *Couples / Individuals intensives case-by-case
- *If you're ready to have more pleasure in your life - reach out below.
More About Couple's Counseling
Relationship sessions help couples focus their relationship including conflict resolution & support, emotional management and personal connection. They are specifically offered to couples or lovers who need help in this area beyond sexuality work. Relationship sessions help you remember why you’re together and enable strategies to help you create the kind of satisfying relationships you want. They may or may not include individual sessions and sexuality work.
Relationship sessions help you:
- *get clearer about what you want.
- *get clear about what you’re willing to do (or not do) to get it.
- *recognize your boundaries and how to say them out loud.
- *learn to listen better and be the kind of partner you would like to be.
- *understand your needs and the needs of your partner(s).
- *reframe what ‘relationship’ means to you and work towards realigning yourselves to that.
- *take responsibility for what’s working in the relationship.
- *take responsibility for what’s not working and do it differently.
- *understand where you have power and where you don’t.
- *practice accepting limitations and living with compassion.
- *understand the power (and responsibility) of freedom and love.
In many cases miscommunications can arise from issues, that if caught early enough, may be easy to solve. That said, communication is a skill that requires participation from all involved. Relationship sessions in some cases are a necessary precursor to sexuality work as communication is the foundation upon which everything else sits. Without a solid foundation, anything you build will eventually collapse.
Relationship sessions are useful for people who find themselves:
- *in the same arguments over and over again.
- *misunderstanding or being misunderstood.
- *deeply frustrated with no way out.
- *still in love with their partner, but knowing it can’t go on like this.
- *genuinely wanting to connect with their partner but just don’t know how.
- *hoping to better understand the relationship they currently have.
- *eager to rekindle the passion they once had.
- *without clarity but willing to discover what they want from the relationship & each other.
- *wanting to understand their relationship patterns and the effect they have.
- *interested in creating a better future together.
- *keen to invest in strategies that bring more connection, intimacy and pleasure.
- *committed to working through blockages.
- *interested in solutions that are liberating (& sometimes sit outside the square).
Relationship sessions can be challenging, heart-opening and inspirational. They require dedication and commitment to get the changes you seek.
Love and honesty are not for the faint-hearted, but if you are willing to commit to the process, I am willing to support you every step of the way. I will not tolerate or accept bickering, arguing or abuse in my sessions – ever.
You probably already do a good job of that all by yourselves.
Complicated feelings are most definitely welcome, but we will focus on developing the skills you need to change and break free from bad habits. Working with me is a practice and a ritual I invite you to undertake as respectfully and openly as I do.
Relationship sessions can not ever guarantee outcomes, but it most definitely can help you work out what drives your relationship patterns and what to do about them being out of control or ruining your connection. With clarity, insight, dedication and compassion you can turn your relationships around to create the kind of connection you want.
If you are serious about intimacy and developing your relationship, I am here to help.
What Relationship Counseling Is Not
Sometimes couples think seeking advice will ‘save‘ their relationship. This is true sometimes, other times not. Sometimes, long-term resentments are too embedded and the sad truth is, it may be too late to save the relationship. This will be determined by you. I can’t and don’t do anything to save you or your relationship, but I will support you all the way by listening, reflecting and providing resources and useful strategies to experience yourselves and each other in more helpful ways.
No relationship is perfect so we do not strive for perfection, but rather, understanding. Solutions are co-created with you, your partner and me. Relationship sessions help you see your problems more clearly and objectively. You get to understand where things are going wrong and consider whether you’re willing to make the changes required to ‘save‘ the relationship or perhaps change it to accommodate everyone’s needs better. Some people decide they will do anything to save their relationships and take on the challenges change presents, while others decide the relationship is not worth saving, they don’t want to change themselves or anything about the relationship or opt for a new life instead. These may be successful outcomes for the people involved too. How a relationship ends can be as important as how it starts or how it functions.
I am honest and brave and I teach you to be honest and brave too. I teach you how to trust yourselves and each other. This is where intimacy lives. My role is not to be a referee and decide who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’. I will point out imbalances or patterns and provide strategies to deal with them, but I can’t make you do anything you do not want to do. I won’t help you choose the best color for the bathroom, but I will help you see why you keep arguing about it and whether you want to learn to manage it differently. Ultimately I help you decide what is the best course of action for your relationship and help you make a plan to do this through communication skills, emotional management, compromise and self-reflection.
More About Sexology Coaching
People want to experience more from their sex lives. More passion. More bravery. More clarity. More confidence.
Being able to get useful, practical, reliable information about sex and to talk about sex in a safe and confidential environment, free of shame and judgement is an important part of learning about just how liberating great sex can be.
Most of us have no idea how sex works. After all, why would we? We don’t get taught it at school, and when we do it’s mostly useless information about making babies and terrifying diseases, and very little to do with why most of us have sex – which may not be a surprise to you to learn it’s usually never to have a baby!
Learning to understand sex from our own motivations is part of developing a more confident relationship with it. After all, when we know why we are doing something, it’s easier to stay interested, motivated and develop the skills we need to get to where we want to go.This could involve discussing everything including:
- *physical experiences
- *deeper awareness of how your body works
- *mental and emotional processing
- *changing your mindset
- *understanding (your or your partners’) fantasies and turn-ons
- *examining relationship dynamics
- *improving communication skills
- *learning how to touch and be touched
- *how you can alter your approach to working with problems and finding solutions
- *expanding your sexual knowledge
- *education & myth-busting
- *practical skills for white–hot sex
How I Work
Sex, life and relationships are the center of our lives. This means I work with you in the context of your life – not just your sex life.
I have had the opportunity to discuss sexuality at an intimate level with literally thousands of people across around the world. This has lead me to the conclusion that sexuality is not separate from who we are, it’s part of who we are. Seeing the totality of you, as whole person, is vital when exploring sexuality.
I can support and facilitate your journey through complex sexual and emotional terrain helping you feel more embodied, connected and present to your erotic potential.
My values around sex therapy and sexuality mean that I see clients from a variety of backgrounds and orientations. My clients are people who want more from life, sex and relationships. I believe there is no ‘right and wrong‘ when it comes to sexuality, practice or influence. I listen to you and together we’ll discuss how you feel about sexuality and identify where you might need help and expert guidance. While I know a lot about sex and sexuality, I am not an expert in YOU, so together we can make our time as useful and relevant to your specific situation as possible. I abide by the notion of safe, sane and consensual and I want you to have the best sex you possibly can! After all, I hear people discuss their sex lives with me day in and day out (in all its glorious forms), it’s very likely I’ve heard it all before and many practices and problems are more common than you might think!
My role is to help you have the best sex you can have. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing, feeling and thinking about sex. Together we’ll identify what’s working for you and what’s not. We’ll look at how you want your sex and relationships to be and develop ways to make those changes. We’ll help you work out the best approach to working through these issues with a combination of discussion and some solutions or practical activities / homework or exciting Tantra or embodiment practices to get you more connected to your body and your sexuality.
What Sexology Is Not
People sometimes still feel confused about what this is and is and is not, even after reading this description. This makes sense in so many ways because we live in a world that is often so uncomfortable discussing and exploring sexuality and the feelings that go with it. Sexology consultations are not a passive experience. This means that you as a client are actively engaged in the process every step of the way. What you bring to the sessions determines where we go, what we do and how things unfold; at your speed, at your pace. You are invited to really participate in thinking, doing, feeling and compassionate self inquiry in order to re-frame your understanding of sex and sexuality. You will have the chance to make the changes required to solve the problems you struggle with in your life.
Our sessions are a deep, engaging process that requires your commitment and attention, to explore outside the square in order to experience core change at the levels you seek. The more you engage in the process the more you will get out of it.
These sessions exist in conjunction with relationship work if required.
No need to be shy or embarrassed. I look forward to hearing from you.
More About Individual Coaching
You're stuck in life, in an uncomfortable loop and unsure why your relationships and friendships just don't work out. You struggle to connect with others and with yourself. Or perhaps you know deep down what's going on, but need help making sense of it and relieving some of the shame, pain, burden and embarrassment.
Learning to reveal yourself to yourself is a liberating and freeing experience
*tend to the tender places and hurts.
*make sense of complicated thoughts and feelings
*develop self trust, self compassion and embodied wisdom
*draw on creativity, passion and pleasure as signposts to health, vitality and wellbeing
*rely on your innate skills, talents and strengths to stop struggling and start loving.
We'll explore who you are today and where you want to be including the emerging awareness of your own sexual self, your passions, your connections, life changes, aging and beyond.