Sex, Intimacy & Relationships Advice
Up to date insight, tips and ideas for modern lives and relationships. From vulnerability to orgasm, pleasure and intimacy. From exploring complex emotions to better, more meaningful communication. From connection, real-world sex and empathy, to online dating and shame resilience, it’s all here.
How to Have Spontaneous Sex
How to Have Spontaneous SexAhhh – spontaneous sex. Even the phrase alone conjures images of youth, tropical holidays, cocktails by the beach and random acts of lust in the back of cars. The longing many of us have for spontaneous sex is not so much the idea that we’re just walking down the street and…
Masturbation; it's not just for wankers!
Masturbation; it’s not just for wankers!Masturbation is a really important part of human sexuality.Despite its reputation as a selfish practice, masturbation can actually expand and enhance our erotic experiences with others. When we know more about how our body responds to touch and stimulation, the more likely we are able to access this during partnered…
Why Speaking About Sex Is Important!
Why Speaking About Sex Is Important! With the volume of sexually explicit material available to us online these days not to mention easy access to it all, it would be very simple to think that we as a species have become very comfortable with talking about sex. You can find information about all kinds of sex and…
I don't like sex. What's wrong with me?
I don’t like sex. What’s wrong with me? Â Hi Cyndi, I don’t like sex. I would like to want to have to have sex but as soon as I start I can’t think about anything else but stopping. I am not in a relationship but have dated a few guys in the last year.…
Why Don't I Have Great Sex?
Why Don’t I Have Great Sex?Dear Cyndi,I am writing because I have been struggling for many years with my sex life. I have had several sexual experiences (all with men), but most of the time I end up feeling like sex has no meaning or purpose for me. I just can’t get into it and…
Porndemonium
PorndemoniumI am part of several online groups for sex professionals, which are a great source of inspiration and also discussion. Recently, a discussion erupted into a slagging match in which one member criticised some of the senior educators in our global community for not doing ‘enough’ about the ‘crisis’. Crisis? I thought. What crisis were…
5 Ways to Increase Your Pleasure Tonight
5 Ways to Increase Your Pleasure TonightIn my practice, I meet many women who struggle with their sexual pleasure. After all, we live in a culture that really doesn’t value and prioritize pleasure in any way, so sometimes it’s difficult to know where to start. But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be this…
Why Our Conversations About Sex Need To Change.
Why Our Conversations About Sex Need To Change.When sex makes headlines, it’s usually for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. Do a Google News search (see images below) for sex and you will see endless examples of sex gone bad; shame making articles, heinous violations, articles espousing bigger-better-faster-stronger, or a celebrity sex tape that begins to circulate and…
Living Richly; Dancing with Uncertainty
Living Richly; Dancing with UncertaintyOne of the most powerful lessons I have received in my life and that I draw on heavily in counselling and education with clients is working with the notion of uncertainty. Uncertainty is harrowing in so many ways. It brings us face to face with the impermanence of life. Love, Life, Relationships…
How do I talk to my kid about porn?
How do I talk to my kid about porn?Dear CyndiI recently found out my 12 year old son has watched porn and I don’t know what to do about it. I know I can’t stop him but I just don’t know what to say or where to start. Do you have any suggestions?JohnDear John,Firstly, let…
Sex Just Feels Too Difficult!
Sex Just Feels Too Difficult!Dear Cyndi I have chronic pain and a host of other medical issues that have meant I’m now on disability, possibly permanently. The medication for it leaves me chronically exhausted but I still crave sex. I haven’t been active for 12 years, and I’ve had a few offers from women overseas,…
Overcoming Online Dating Fears
Overcoming Online Dating FearsDear Cyndi,I love flirting on online dating sites but as soon as it comes to meeting up with people I freak out and stop contact. I’m terrified of meeting people in person. Do you have any tips for how I can overcome this?Greg. Dear Greg,What you’re describing is a common phenomenon in…
Painful Anal Sex
Painful Anal SexI’ve been seeing a really hot guy for a few months now and we’ve totally dived straight into a relationship. I know that we both want it to be a long term thing and I really feel that it will be. We have really great hot sex and are totally compatible. We’re both…