Tag: tips

Why Can’t I Come During Sex?

Why Can’t I Come During Sex?*This article is referring exclusively to ciswomen & men”Why can’t I orgasm during sex?” She asks me…perplexed and bewildered.If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question, I’d not only be laughing all the way to the bank, I’d also be making sure everybody knew what […]

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How to Initiate Sex

How To Initiate Sex Initiating sex can be uncomfortable for many of us. You may be the type who initiates by grabbing a part of your partner’s body when they least expect it – usually resulting in a slap or a shove and a NO! Perhaps you’re the begrudging “You know it’s been (insert number […]

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What does a sex therapist even do?

What does a sex therapist even do? I get some very funny reactions when I am at dinner parties and people find out what my job is. So many  wonder what I actually do in my sessions, followed up quickly by; “What kind of people do you see?”“What kinds of things do they want to […]

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Sexual Fantasies… What Do They Mean?

Sexual Fantasies… What Do They Mean? Erotic fantasies are as common as daydreaming. Imagining ourselves in a hot tryst with a (several) flight attendant(s), being desired by strangers at a sex party, doing unspeakable things with a celebrity crush, being punished by a cruel owner or getting paid for sexual acts we’d never do in […]

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Help! Our sex drives don’t match!

Help! Our sex drives don’t match! Ask any couple if their sex drives are in sync 100% of the time and you’ll find the answer is “Hell No!”  This is normal!  But when one partner is usually the ‘initiator’ and/or the other feels pressured and harassed by the other’s advances, this can lead to tension, […]

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On Wanting…and Being Wanted

In disconnected relationships, partners treat each other as a burden, an obligation, a chore or errand. They cease to see each other as the individuals that caught their attention and once-upon-a-time, dazzled them with excitement and possibility.Over time, that excitement turns to disconnect; boredom, frustration, loneliness and even resentment. They do not give each other […]

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Getting real about consent

GETTING REAL ABOUT CONSENT Consent is a buzz word these days. In sexuality education and sex positive circles it’s thrown around with gay abandon, while its definition and its processes are in continuous formation. We are still debating and describing in detail what it means and how it’s established. Many of us have recognised it’s […]

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Understanding Your Erotic Values

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EROTIC VALUESMany relationships counselors will talk about ‘relationship values’. Relationship values are what motivates us to find fulfillment in a relationship. For example, security is often a strong value people hold about intimate relationships. Without this, the relationship feels unfulfilling because it’s a value that matters to us. Others say connection, companionship or […]

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When Love Hurts…

When Love Hurts… My post just before the holidays late last year was a reflection on the struggles of having unresolved feelings during ‘happy’ times. When we don’t join in with the ‘happy-happy-joy-joy’ we can feel we are the odd one out. Significant cultural celebrations like the afore mentioned holidays and the upcoming Valentine’s day […]

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