Many relationships counsellors will talk about ‘relationship values’. Relationship values are what motivates us to find fulfillment in a relationship. For example, security is often a strong value people hold about intimate relationships. Without this, the relationship feels unfulfilling because … Continued

Hi Cyndi, I am 23 years old and I’m facing a difficult moment sexually because I have lost my libido. I have no interest in sex and the worst is that I don’t enjoy it anymore. What are some ways … Continued

One of the most frequently asked questions I get from women who come to see me for counselling is about their ability to orgasm. Orgasm, it seems, is the main outcome or goal many of us focus on when discussing … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I am married, age 47, to date have not been able give my wife a single orgasm. Is there a single act where this can be achieved? Carl Dear Carl Thanks for your question. I often hear stories … Continued

Erections (or the absence of) are a delicate issue for those with penises, especially those who identify as men. (Yup, not all people with penises identify as men – but that is for another post). In fact, penis and erection … Continued

Masturbation is a really important part of our sexuality. Practicing masturbation can actually expand and enhance our erotic experiences with others. Who woulda thunk it? Any of you that are familiar with my work know that I am a great … Continued

Hi, I don’t like sex. I would like to want to have to have sex but as soon as I start I can’t think about anything else but stopping. I am not in a relationship but have dated a few … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I am writing because I have been struggling for many years with my sex life. I have had several sexual experiences (all with men), but most of the time I end up feeling like sex has no meaning … Continued

If you could take a pill to eat Brussels Sprouts when you don’t like them, would you take it? If you could take a pill to make yourself watch sports when you actually preferred painting, would you do it? If … Continued

In my practice as a qualified sex therapist & coach, I meet many women who struggle with their sexual pleasure. After all, we live in a culture that really doesn’t value and prioritise pleasure in any way, so sometimes it’s … Continued

When sex makes headlines, it’s usually for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. Do a Google News search (see images below) for sex and you will see endless examples of sex gone bad; shame making articles, heinous violations, articles espousing bigger-better-faster-stronger, or … Continued

One of the most powerful lessons I have received in my life and that I draw on heavily in counselling and education with clients is working with the notion of uncertainty. Uncertainty is harrowing in so many ways. It brings … Continued

Sex Positivity, can mean many things to many people. To me, being sex-positive means I embrace the notions of pleasure and sexuality in an affirmative light. I see sex and pleasure as integral parts of the human condition, and not something … Continued

In the West we confuse Beauty with Value, Worthiness and Relevance. Yet unlike these ‘things’, Beauty is fickle, subjective and impermanent. But Passion ( Beauty’s lesser valued counterpart and source of inspiration) is cultivated and refined over a lifetime. Passion … Continued

It’s the intersection between thought and feeling that rattles us so deeply about sex . Not just the acts – but all that it is, personal, physical, political, emotional spiritual and beyond. It’s this land of the unknown that invites us … Continued

Hi folks I am seeking your stories for my book. How do YOU manage to work towards maintaining a sex positive life in a sex negative culture? What kinds of things do you do to help you on the days … Continued

People are often curious about my work. One of the questions I am most frequently asked is ‘do you see mostly couples’? In the beginning this surprised me, I couldn’t understand why people freely associated sexual enquiry primarily with people … Continued

Feelings are at the heart of satisfying sex – even if it’s erotic feelings – becoming familiar with our feelings helps us become more familiar with ourselves. No two ways about it.

Dear Cyndi I have chronic pain and a host of other medical issues that have meant I’m now on disability,  possibly permanently. The medication for it leaves me chronically exhausted but I still crave sex. I  haven’t been active … Continued

My current lover and I have been having quite rough sex. Hair pulling,  choking and slapping, etc. I am really enjoying it in the moment but afterwards feel a bit strange about it. He is very loving and respectful generally, … Continued

I’ve been seeing a really hot guy for a few months now and we’ve totally dived straight into a relationship. I know that we both want it to be a long term thing and I really feel that it will … Continued

Here is a piece I wrote during my Master’s degree at Uni of Sydney on  why comprehensive and age-appropriate sex education is essential. I was absolutely floored to find out that Sex Ed is not compulsory in all Australian schools, and … Continued

Recently I have been considering the notion of shame, and the role that it plays in the sex lives of all of us.  Shame, as distinct from embarrassment or guilt, comes initially from an external force that tells us we … Continued

  There has been an astounding response to the podcast on female anatomy and arousal that I recorded with Catherine Deveny. The response, particularly from men, has been one of praise  for not only having the discussion publicly, but also … Continued

Hello again,   In news just in, our PODCAST had over 1800 hits overnight! What a fabulous effort pleasure enthusiasts!

Wow. What an exhilarating day! Talk about PLEASURE overload. Pleasure of course can  be sourced from a squillion locations both internally and externally, and today mine came in the form of the GLORIOUS Catherine Deveny AND everyone of you who … Continued