Tag: skills

Why Can’t I Come During Sex?

Why Can’t I Come During Sex?*This article is referring exclusively to ciswomen & men”Why can’t I orgasm during sex?” She asks me…perplexed and bewildered.If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question, I’d not only be laughing all the way to the bank, I’d also be making sure everybody knew what […]

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How to Initiate Sex

How To Initiate Sex Initiating sex can be uncomfortable for many of us. You may be the type who initiates by grabbing a part of your partner’s body when they least expect it – usually resulting in a slap or a shove and a NO! Perhaps you’re the begrudging “You know it’s been (insert number […]

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How to Touch Like You Mean It!

How to Touch Like You Mean It! One of the most basic forms of human connection is touch. For so many of us it’s hard to imagine life without it. From erotic passion to profound love, there is no deeper expression of affection, emotion and eroticism. Sadly, so many of us are touch-starved, not only […]

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Less Sex, Bad Sex & Sex Tech

Less Sex, Bad Sex & Sex Tech Recent stats show that young people are having less sex than any generation before them. Despite the so called ‘sex recession’ there is no evidence to suggest that other adult generations are also hit by this decline in carnal activities. In fact to the contrary, those over 55 […]

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Is everything we believe about monogamy wrong?

Is everything we believe about monogamy wrong? Last night I attended Open Love NY’s panel / discussion event with Wednesday Martin (author of Untrue and Primates of Park Avenue) and Christopher Ryan (Sex At Dawn) discussing their respective books and the data that suggests humans are hardwired for non-monogamy. TL;DR – Looking at the history […]

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Getting Triggered in Relationships

Getting Triggered in Relationships   The word ‘triggered’ has been around a while now. Originally, it was used to describe responses arising from complex trauma that would activate complicated behavior, anxiety or panic disproportionate to the current situation.  But these days, it’s used more often to describe emotional responses to every-day complications in life. The […]

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Help! Our sex drives don’t match!

Help! Our sex drives don’t match! Ask any couple if their sex drives are in sync 100% of the time and you’ll find the answer is “Hell No!”  This is normal!  But when one partner is usually the ‘initiator’ and/or the other feels pressured and harassed by the other’s advances, this can lead to tension, […]

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On Wanting…and Being Wanted

In disconnected relationships, partners treat each other as a burden, an obligation, a chore or errand. They cease to see each other as the individuals that caught their attention and once-upon-a-time, dazzled them with excitement and possibility. Over time, that excitement turns to disconnect; boredom, frustration, loneliness and even resentment. They do not give each […]

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Getting real about consent

GETTING REAL ABOUT CONSENT Consent is a buzz word these days. In sexuality education and sex positive circles it’s thrown around with gay abandon, while its definition and its processes are in continuous formation. We are still debating and describing in detail what it means and how it’s established. Many of us have recognised it’s […]

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Sex, Death and Erotic Values

SEX, DEATH, AND EROTIC VALUES “When we first got together I really enjoyed sex with my partner, but over time it started to change. I didn’t hate it, not at all, I just wanted it less often than him. There were other ways of connecting that I got more from  and we just cruised along […]

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