WORK WITH ME

...when love is just the beginning

Your sex therapy and relationship coaching sessions with me are grounded in the fundamental belief that pleasure, intimacy and relationships are an essential part of a healthy life. Your consultations are highly personalized for your unique situation. As a highly trained and sought-after sex therapist and relationship counselor, all of my knowledge, wisdom and experience is at your disposal, including therapeutic discussions and techniques, proven strategies for increasing and exploring pleasure,  tons of scientifically-backed sex information and education, plus skills development to support you in relationships, communication, emotional and mental processing.

The essence of our work together is the rich, embodied integration of body, mind, and heart. We’ll look at what’s getting in your way, we’ll bust a few myths, and help you take action and create a program for your lifestyle, personality, time frame, ability, resources, and health. I offer face-to-face options and online options to suit our schedules

More About Relationships Work

There's nothing worse than feeling lonely, except feeling lonely in a relationship. When you're no longer connecting, everything feels like it's falling apart.

We live in a culture that demands so much of our time and attention. It's easy to get distracted from who we love and tune out of our relationships; instead focusing on work, extended family and other commitments. When you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to see a way out or sometimes inadequate communication is preventing you from having the kind of intimacy and connection you once had or deeply desire.

Relationship sessions are specifically offered to couples or lovers whose relationships have lost traction, focus or direction. Relationship sessions help you remember why you’re together and enable strategies to help you create the kind of satisfying relationships you want. They may or may not include individual sessions and sexuality work.

Relationship sessions help you:

  • get clearer about what you want.
  • get clear about what you’re willing to do (or not do) to get it.
  • recognize your boundaries and how to say them out loud.
  • learn to listen better and be the kind of partner you would like to be.
  • understand your needs and the needs of your partner(s).
  • reframe what ‘relationship’ means to you and work towards realigning yourselves to that.
  • take responsibility for what’s working in the relationship.
  • take responsibility for what’s not working and do it differently.
  • understand where you have power and where you don’t.
  • practice accepting limitations and living with compassion.
  • understand the power (and responsibility) of freedom and love.

In many cases miscommunications can arise from issues, that if caught early enough, may be easy to solve. That said, communication is a skill that requires participation from all involved. Relationship sessions in some cases are a necessary precursor to sexuality work  as communication is the foundation upon which everything else sits. Without a solid foundation, anything you build will eventually collapse.

Relationship sessions are useful for people who find themselves:

  • in the same arguments over and over again.
  • misunderstanding or being misunderstood.
  • deeply frustrated with no way out.
  • still in love with their partner, but knowing it can’t go on like this.
  • genuinely wanting to connect with their partner but just don’t know how.
  • hoping to better understand the relationship they currently have.
  • eager to rekindle the passion they once had.
  • without clarity but willing to discover what they want from the relationship & each other.
  • wanting to understand their relationship patterns and the effect they have.
  • interested in creating a better future together.
  • keen to invest in strategies that bring more connection, intimacy and pleasure.
  • committed to working through blockages.
  • interested in solutions that are liberating (& sometimes sit outside the square).
  • Relationship sessions can be challenging, heart-opening and inspirational. They require dedication and commitment to get the changes you seek.

Love and honesty are not for the faint-hearted, but if you are willing to commit to the process, I am willing to support you every step of the way. I will not tolerate or accept bickering, arguing or abuse in my sessions – ever.

You probably already do a good job of that all by yourselves.

Complicated feelings are most definitely welcome, but we will focus on developing the skills you need to change and break free from bad habits. Working with me is a practice and a ritual I invite you to undertake as respectfully and openly as I do.

Relationship sessions can not ever guarantee outcomes, but it most definitely can help you work out what drives your relationship patterns and what to do about them being out of control or ruining your connection. With clarity, insight, dedication and compassion you can turn your relationships around to create the kind of connection you want.

If you are serious about intimacy and developing your relationship, I am here to help.

What relationship sessions are not

Sometimes couples think seeking advice will ‘save‘ their relationship. This is true sometimes, other times not. Sometimes, long-term resentments are too embedded and the sad truth is, it may be too late to save the relationship. This will be determined by you. I can’t and don’t do anything to save you or your relationship, but I will support you all the way by listening, reflecting and providing resources and useful strategies to experience yourselves and each other in more helpful ways.

No relationship is perfect so we do not strive for perfection, but rather, understanding. Solutions are co-created with you, your partner and me. Relationship sessions help you see your problems more clearly and objectively. You get to understand where things are going wrong and consider whether you’re willing to make the changes required to ‘save‘ the relationship or perhaps change it to accommodate everyone’s needs better. Some people decide they will do anything to save their relationships and take on the challenges change presents, while others decide the relationship is not worth saving, they don’t want to change themselves or anything about the relationship or opt for a new life instead. These may be successful outcomes for the people involved too. How a relationship ends can be as important as how it starts or how it functions.

I am honest and brave and I teach you to be honest and brave too. I teach you how to trust yourselves and each other. This is where intimacy lives. My role is not to be a referee and decide who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’. I will point out imbalances or  patterns and provide strategies to deal with them, but I can’t make you do anything you do not want to do. I won’t help you choose the best color for the bathroom, but I will help you see why you keep arguing about it and whether you want to learn to manage it differently. Ultimately I help you decide what is the best course of action for your relationship and help you make a plan to do this through communication skills, emotional management, compromise and self-reflection.

These sessions can run along with sexuality work, or just on relationships.

More About Sexuality Work

People want to experience more from their sex lives.  More passion. More bravery. More clarity. More confidence.

Being able to get useful, practical, reliable information about sex and to talk about sex in a safe and confidential environment,  free of shame and judgement is an important part of learning about just how liberating great sex can be. 

Most of us have no idea how sex works. After all, why would we? We don’t get taught it at school, and when we do it’s mostly useless information about making babies and terrifying diseases, and very little to do with why most of us have sex  – which may not be a surprise to you to learn it’s usually never to have a baby!

Learning to understand sex from our own motivations is part of developing a more confident relationship with it. After all, when we know why we are doing something, it’s easier to stay interested, motivated and develop the skills we need to get to where we want to go.This could involve discussing everything including:

  • physical experiences
  • deeper awareness of how your body works
  • mental and emotional processing
  • changing your mindset
  • understanding (your or your partners’) fantasies and turn-ons
  • examining relationship dynamics
  • improving  communication skills
  • learning how to touch and be touched
  • how you can alter your approach to working with problems and finding solutions
  • expanding your sexual knowledge
  • education & myth-busting
  • practical skills for white–hot sex

How I Work

Sex, life and relationships are the center of our lives. This means I work with you in the context of your life – not just your sex life.

I have had the opportunity to discuss sexuality at an intimate level with literally thousands of people across around the world. This has lead me to the conclusion that sexuality is not separate from who we are, it’s part of who we are. Seeing the totality of you, as whole person, is vital when exploring sexuality.

I can support and facilitate your journey through complex sexual and emotional terrain helping you  feel more embodied, connected and present to your erotic potential.

My values around sex therapy and sexuality mean that I see clients from a variety of backgrounds and orientations.  My clients are people who want more from life, sex and relationships. I believe there is no ‘right and wrong‘ when it comes to sexuality, practice or influence. I listen to you and together we’ll discuss how you feel about sexuality and identify where you might need help and expert guidance. While I know a lot about sex and sexuality, I am not an expert in YOU, so together we can make our time as useful and relevant to your specific situation as possible. I abide by the notion of safe, sane and consensual and I want you to have the best sex you possibly can! After all, I hear people discuss their sex lives with me day in and day out (in all its glorious forms), it’s very likely I’ve heard it all before and many practices and problems are more common than you might think!

What Happens?

My role is to help you have the best sex you can have. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing, feeling and thinking about sex. Together we’ll identify what’s working for you and what’s not. We’ll look at how you want your sex and relationships to be and develop ways to make those changes. We’ll help you work out the best approach to working through these issues with a combination of discussion and  some solutions or practical activities / homework or exciting Tantra or embodiment practices to get you more connected to your body and your sexuality.

What Sexology Is Not

People sometimes still feel confused about what this is and is and is not, even after reading this description. This makes sense in so many ways because we live in a world that is often so uncomfortable discussing and exploring sexuality and the feelings that go with it.  Sexology consultations are not a passive experience. This means that you as a client are actively engaged in the process every step of the way. What you bring to the sessions determines where we go, what we do and how things unfold; at your speed, at your pace. You are invited to really participate in thinking, doing, feeling and compassionate self inquiry  in order to re-frame your understanding of sex and sexuality. You will have the chance to make the changes required to solve the problems you struggle with in your life.

Our sessions are a deep, engaging process that requires your commitment and attention, to explore outside the square in order to experience core change at the levels you seek.  The more you engage in the process the more you will get out of it.

These sessions exist in conjunction with relationship work if required.

No need to be shy or embarrassed. I look forward to hearing from you.

You'll love the gentle, compassionate yet powerful approaches I use. Enough therapeutic connection to feel safe & held, enough scientifically-backed education and guidance to stop you floundering and just the right amount of coaching, encouragement and permission to get you up & out of your funk. Sex and relationship counselling / coaching is generally short-medium term. Working with me is more streamlined than regular therapy, so with your commitment and my expertise, you'll get the information and results you seek more quickly.

Whatever your relationships status, age, orientation or desire – working with me is a rich and fulfilling experience designed to align what you want, where you want to be, and how to get you there in the most effective amount of time.

REASONS YOU MIGHT WANT TO WORK WITH ME: 

Individuals

  • Erection problems / erectile dysfunction
  • Orgasm problems (too much/too many/ not enough/not at all)
  • Desire & libido difficulties
  • Arousal difficulties
  • Reconnecting to pleasure after abuse
  • Ejaculation problems
  • Navigating online dating
  • Discovering sex & dating after divorce
  • Exploring sexuality, pleasure & aging
  • Lack of knowledge/confidence/skill
  • Explore deeper and more connected sexuality
  • Learn about Tantra/spiritual sexuality
  • Struggling with sexual confidence/body image
  • Concerns about porn consumption/seeing sex workers/ attending sex parties/hook-up sex
  • Unpacking infidelity
  • Alternative approaches to sex practices
  • Exploring sexuality/orientation /gender identity
  • Coming out/changing identity
  • Painful sex
  • Adult sex ed for the 21st century
  • Exploring troublesome turn-ons & turn-offs, fantasies & mental/emotional health
  • Understanding/support for problematic/erratic sexual behavior (sometimes called sex addiction)

Couples / Relationships

  • Reinvigorating a long-term relationship
  • Working through relationship difficulties
  • Dealing with boredom in relationships
  • Managing your sex life
  • Making time for fulfilling sex
  • Improving communication
  • Dealing with differences in libido
  • Dealing with changes in aging
  • Processing difficult emotions including betrayal, hurt, jealousy & anger
  • Dealing with changes in a relationship
  • Exploring function/dysfunction and satisfaction
  • Exploring open relationships and non-monogamy
  • Exploring kink and alternative sex practices
  • Starting and ending relationships
  • Learning about your lovers’ body

 

 

There are three ways to work with me: 

 

DEEP DIVE SESSIONS

I offer in-person or online sexulaity &  relationship sessions to individuals, couples or small groups

  • in Manhattan
  • & via encrypted Zoom video online.

Check out this handy tool to see the time difference between your location and New York City.

You (and your partner/s) can join me for inspiring, change-oriented and useful sex and relationship consultations weekly or biweekly.

We start with a block of 5 x 90 min sessions to establish our rich relationship, help you dive deep and get you on track. After that you may like to scale back to one-by-one or take another block.

See FAQs for further details beyond these descriptions.

Contact me to set up a FREE introduction. 

My extensive media work means I am a trusted go-to resource  for many high-profile clients. If seeking extra privacy, your needs can be accomodated. Please advise in your initial inquiry if you have specific privacy requirements.

What Happens?

First and foremost we identify your hopes and your problem/s then we work toward solutions. It’s amazing how many people try to change their relationships or sex lives without first establishing the incentives or problems. To that end, I offer specialized perspectives on topics most clinicians are not trained in or shy away from. Unlike a lot of more traditional approaches, I help you reduce the mind / body split and get connected to your body, your senses and the birthright that is your erotic self. You were born this way and our work is designed to take you back home. I use various talk techniques as well as somatic (body-based) and emotional experiencing techniques as the tools for change. There is no explicit touch involved.

Sessions are focused on the here and now to help you develop skills and confidence where you need them most. Sometimes we look at history where knowledge from the past is holding you back in the present, but mostly we look at where you are today and where you want to be. I draw on a profound range of ideas, up-to-date clinical research and useful, transformative physical, mental and emotional practices to help you create a meaningful understanding of sex, pleasure and relationships in your life.  If typical talk therapy leaves you feeling like you're going in circles with no action, you'll love working with me. We chat, we laugh, we talk about big stuff and practice incorporating new ideas, practices and ways of dealing with old problems. You'll get homework to try and with your commitment, changes can happen pretty quickly. 

The benefit of a small, bespoke practice is the premium service offered and laser-fast support between sessions. Quick fixes, 'hacks' and endless talking are simply not going to cut it in these contexts, so you can be assured of the quality and laser-focused attention you are getting. 

locations

Face-to-face sessions are by appointment only Thursday evenings, Fridays and some Saturdays in Manhattan. Other sessions available online.

Why Do Deep Dive?

Deep Dive is for people

  • who may be new to sexuality and relationship work
  • or have tried regular therapy but seek more
  • who are serious about change 
  • who are curious, committed and ready to explore
  • who want more from life, sex and relationships
  • who have the time, dedication and resources to dive deep

 

How many sessions do I need?

People start seeing a change after the first session – generally 10-20 sessions is common. Our work together is short-to-medium term. We will co-create a therapeutic connection and really invest in getting you the change you seek. After you feel you've gotten to where you want to be in your own time, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like after that. In between sessions, you will have access to me via email and text, so you will feel fully supported all the way. Many people enjoy the ongoing relationship. It's important we are a good fit and I am as particular about you, as you are about me. Our initial clarity call allows us to explore this and your intentions more fully.

  • 30-minute initial video clarity call to help us get clear on our work together (free).
  • Packages of 5 x 90 min sessions for individuals and couples - 3 month expiration
  • Couples / Individuals intensives case-by-case

V.I.P Sensuous Couple's Weekend Retreat

Let me take you from where you are to where you want to be…

You want to connect with your lover, deeply, soulfully and from a place of tenderness. You want to experience exquisite pleasure, free of judgement, where you can be authentic and expand.

Watch your tension simply fall away and be enveloped in an ecstatic experience you will never forget.

Many couples seek guidance to expand, deepen and enhance their sexual and intimate relationships.

The V.I.P Couple's Weekend has been developed to offer an elite and exquisitely tailored personalized service for lovers ready to take the next step in their intimate connection. The program has been developed specifically for lovers who are ready to embark on a journey into erotic freedom.

This program is perfect if you are

  • looking for ways to reinvigorate your sex life
  • keen to learn more about creating WHITE-HOT pleasure
  • craving the freedom to really experience your connected, nourishing, erotic potential in a safe and totally private environment…

then this ultimate V.I.P sensuous retreat is perfect for your needs.

You will be introduced to the secrets of what makes sex connected, passionate and invigorating. You’ll learn new ways of exploring your and your lover’s body to enhance connection and eroticism. Contained within a safe environment, you will learn how to bring out the best in your intimate expression expression by practicing trust, deep connection and honoring boundaries.

If you have found yourself wanting more... you have found what you are looking for.

What Will We Do?

You and your partner are invited to dive into this unique 5 star offering of deep exploration of erotic connection. Each star builds on the previous and includes a combination of theory,embodiment, sensual expression and connection plus variety of techniques to help you get out of your head, into your body and get the most out of your pleasure.

Each star is delivered step-by-step and include:

Star 1 – Waking up from the Sleep: Understanding your Body & Eroticism

Star 2 – Conscious Touch & Breath – Savouring Your Lover

Star 3 – Introduction to Full Body Orgasms

Star 4 – Exploring Mindful Eroticism

Star 5 – Energizing Sex

Each star is uniquely delivered to meet your specific needs and level of experience. Beginners will be gently introduced to new concepts and techniques while advanced players will have an opportunity to reframe their knowledge and experience, explore blockages and distractions and enjoy a rich and visceral weekend of playful exploration under my guidance, care and undivided attention.

  • Develop & rekindle powerful erotic connection with your partner

  • Experience deep heart-connection through nourishing embodiment practices

  • Learn the secrets of exquisite sensual touch

  • Learn how to communicate about pleasure

  • Expand your sensual and erotic wisdom

  • Develop techniques to enrich intimacy

  • Learn to give and receive erotic awakening massages

  • Be confident in your full potential as a  lover

  • Experience the power of vulnerability

  • Remember how to play erotically again

  • Release sexual shame

  • Experience pleasure in  your body despite physical problems, aging, menopause etc

  • Say good-bye to boredom and painful sex

  • Transform sexual blockages into opportunities for connection

  • Create memories of a lifetime

Who Is It For?

The V.I.P Couple's Weekend is for couples who are really ready to commit to expanding their connection through erotic and sensual growth. It is perfectly suited to couples who have a deep love and respect for  each other and are ready to take their sensual connection to a new level of bliss and erotic potential. Whether you’re new to erotic exploration or looking for private tuition and guidance for you and your lover with an experienced sex coach, these sessions can be a great gift to yourself , your lover or for those about to celebrate their nuptials / commitment.

This is an individually tailored program to ensure your privacy and my full attention, giving you the freedom to really experience your erotic potential in a safe and totally private environment.

How Does It Work?

You are invited to spend a full weekend with me as I lead you and your beloved on a journey into profound sensual connection exploring:

  • the secrets to what makes good sex great
  • how to connect to yourself and your partner
  • how to turn on your ‘turn ons’ and turn off your ‘turn offs’
  • how to build and sustain erotic energy
  • understanding the potential of friction and power
  • techniques for embodied, conscious sexuality
  • playful risk-taking and techniques to overcome blockages
  • the effectiveness of activity, receptivity & surrender
  • and so much more

This premium service is strictly by application only.

What's Included?

More than just ‘spicing up your sex life’, this weekend navigates not only the skills you need to go there,  but also the confidence to be able to stay there and be fully present in your erotic, sensual power!

In total you get the full weekend 10am - 6pm both days plus breaks for lunch plus three video consultations: your initial application before and 2 after.

To start your application, complete the form. Then we arrange to meet via video chat first to be sure we are a good fit for each other. We'll look at dates that will work, what's required and expected of you and your beloved and you'll have a chance to get clear on what you want to get out of it.

From there we arrange the finer details of the weekend including my travel arrangements to you (if required) or yours to NYC.

Costs for the retreat vary according to availability, travel expenses and timing. Fees will be discussed during the application interview. There are no fee reductions / exceptions available for this program.

This is my ultimate offering to lovers of all genders, orientations and levels of experience. I look forward to hearing from you.

EMAIL SEX COACHING

Don't want the hassle of dealing with times, bookings and appointments? Just have a basic question you want to be answered? I got you covered too!
More affordable and faster than face-to-face or video consultations, email coaching is a great and efficient way to get the information you seek from a trusted and reliable source.

How it works

Use the purchase link here to buy your email sex coach exchange. This fee is good for one full exchange. That means one email from you and one very thorough response from me including tips, ideas, links and suggested materials to get you on your way.

Once processed, you and I will receive an automated email confirming your purchase. It's super important your email address is correct - one wrong letter means I cannot reply to you. I will then send you a form where you can ask your question. This form is simple and designed to help you really get clear on what you are asking so you can get the most value from the exchange.

Within 4 business days of completing the form, you will receive my reply; specific, tailored and full of ideas and suggestions.

It's really that easy!

Payments are all billed in US dollars from Life and Soul Inc.

 
*It's important to note that email consultations are not nor are intended to be a replacement for clinical psychotherapy. The nature of email consultations may be therapeutic and beneficial, but it is not considered nor offered as therapy of any kind. In my role as a qualified, clinical sexologist, I offer suggestions and knowledge based on clinical research and best practice approaches.
 
**These exchanges are not offered with the intention of being intimate, explicit nor erotic. No judgment, that's just not the service I am providing here!
 
***Advice about domestic violence, abuse, and other such violations, chronic mental health issues or suicidal ideation are not suitable topics for email coaching. Instead, find a face-to-face therapist or social worker in your area to assist with this.

 

PRIVATE CLIENT TESTIMONIALS

 
 
My partner and I were very pleased to have the opportunity to meet and work with Cyndi Darnell. While Cyndi is a professional in her field of work and knowledge, her bubbly personality, soft and nurturing approach, yet modern and straight to the point fun sessions ensured we felt safe, comfortable and relaxed during our time working together.
 
Any skepticism, doubts, and uncertainty we were experiencing at the beginning of this 5 session course quickly disappeared with Cyndi’s help, as we learned, embraced and felt emotions and experiences we didn’t even know we were missing. She was with us every step of the way, our sessions were completely professional, no sleaze or discomfort. If anything Cyndi’s personality shone through and made us feel we had known her for years thus enabling us to focus on ourselves easily.
We feel because of Cyndi, we have been able to bond and connect deeper, not just emotionally but also sexually. Through techniques taught to us together, we experience more gratifying and intimate lovemaking. Cyndi’s sessions are very therapeutic, self-discovering, emotional and stimulating.
 
We without hesitation recommend Cyndi Darnell to everyone! Couples or singles. Cyndi will teach you and help you find that something inside yourself that you don’t even know was missing.
 
– Sam
 
 
Thank you, Cyndi, for all your help. We had no idea what to expect going into our first session but we were thrilled with all the new knowledge that you taught us. It was definitely an eye-opener for both of us. Your fun and easy going personality really made us feel comfortable and relaxed. 
 
Thanks for a life changing experience!
 
– Anna & Carl
 
 
Sessions with you gave my partner and me a safe space to openly discover and discuss the hidden pains lurking in our relationship, airing them before they festered any longer. I most appreciated your particular brand of honesty and felt you were speaking my heart’s language, with restraint and emphasis where required. We had complete confidence in your knowledge and experience, but more importantly, felt a trust in you to care for both of us equally – a firm yet warm and respectful care to help us speak easily and listen intently so that we could gradually move to a place of new understanding. I’ve just returned from a weekend with my family (a usually challenging space which triggers my shame buttons) and feel our sessions have helped me be more authentic, present and closer to all the people I love. A big sincere thank you for being just what we needed when we needed it. I strongly recommend anyone wanting to learn more about their sensitive buttons and erotic mind to get in touch with you. It’s quite possible we will see you again soon!
 
 – Mia
 
 
Things have been on the whole great after our sessions with you. The sessions led to very productive discussions about emotional and organisational labour divisions in our relationship which was impacting our sex life. But really, even though it was only one exercise you gave us to do, we practiced it and it has helped immensely in opening up discussions about mental blockages, giving and receiving energy and pleasure, self-esteem, body image, and working around bodily trauma. So thank you very much, we are on more of a productive path sexually than in years, or ever really.
 
I believe we will be back in the future as we figure out more and need guidance as necessary. But for now many thanks for your knowledge and work with us. 
 
– Ronette and Ted
 
 
Thank you for your awesome workshop!  It was fun, engaging, and gave me lots of tools to use when I feel like I’m getting stuck.  You helped me rediscover my inner fire! I can’t recommend you highly enough.
 
-K.
 
 
Sometimes in life, you don’t know what you don’t know. Cyndi guides and teaches you things about yourself & life that you may not have anticipated and you’re so much better for it. She’s a wise, warm wonder woman.
 
-Lil
 
 
Thanks, Cyndi for setting me on a path of exploration and allowing me to enjoy myself and my partner
 
– Tam
 
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