What does a sex therapist do?

I get some very funny reactions when I am at dinner parties and people find out what my job is. So many  wonder what I actually do in my sessions, followed up quickly by;

"What kind of people do you see?"
"What kinds of things do they want to talk about?"

The truth is it really varies. A lot. Unlike online programs and articles (which I create a lot of) that offer you an introduction to sex and relationships (which certainly have their value getting you up to speed on new ideas), tailored consultations offer unique and individualized approaches to sex and relationship problems that meet you right where you are at.

Working with a sex therapist like me involves a holistic, compassionate, and often educational approach to sexual well-being and intimacy. I'm known for my integrative style, blending traditional psychotherapy with somatic (body-based) practices and sex education. Here’s what you can generally expect:

🗣️ 1. Initial Consultation

• Building comfort: The first session is about getting to know you, your concerns, and your goals.
• No judgment: I'm known for my warm, inclusive approach, ensuring you feel safe discussing sensitive topics.
• Holistic intake: I might ask about your emotional, physical, relational, and sexual well-being to understand the bigger picture.

🔍 2. Personalized Approach

• Mind and body connection: I often combine talk therapy with mindfulness and somatic practices to address both psychological and physical aspects of sexuality.
• Education and tools: Expect clear, shame-free explanations of sexual anatomy, desire, communication, and pleasure.
• Exercises: I might suggest practices like sensate focus, breathwork, or mindful touch to deepen intimacy and self-awareness.

❤️ 3. Focus Areas

• For individuals: Exploring personal blocks around sex, confidence, past trauma, or identity.
• For couples and other relationships styles: Improving communication, navigating desire discrepancies, or rekindling intimacy.
• For all: Emphasizing pleasure, embodiment, and sexual authenticity.

📚 4. Ongoing Support

• Homework: Gentle practices to try between sessions, always tailored to your comfort level.
• Check-ins: Regular reflection on progress, challenges, and evolving goals.
• Empowerment: The aim is to equip you with tools to build lasting sexual fulfillment and emotional connection.

Let me say that I have heard many tales over the years and it’s highly unlikely that your tale will freak me out. What you do need to know is that this processes needn’t be heavy nor difficult and unlike traditional therapy, it’s usually not a long process either. No stuffy analysis and assumptions of how you 'should' be. In fact people describe private sessions as liberating, relieving and most of all, affirming.

They often wonder why it took them so long to come.

Find out more here or simply contact to book a session online from the privacy of your home, anywhere in the world via video.