Pleasure, Intimacy & Relationships Advice

Maybe it started small. A few extra hours on dating apps. Porn that went from occasional to daily. Hookups that left you feeling emptier than before. And somewhere along the way, you started wondering: Am I a sex addict? You’ve seen the talk show confessions, read the articles about celebrities in treatment, scrolled through forums…

Addyi vs. Vyleesi: Pros, Cons, and What to Know Before Trying Medication for Low Desire Low sexual desire is one of the most common reasons people seek help for their sex lives — and one of the most misunderstood. For some, medication can be part of the conversation. Two FDA-approved options that often come up…

The Art of Connection: Great Questions to Ask on a Date First dates can feel like a high-wire act. You want to be interesting without being overwhelming, curious without being intrusive, and engaging without interrogating. The secret? Asking the right questions. Good questions do more than fill silence—they reveal compatibility, spark genuine conversation, and help…

How Patriachy Conquered Desire, And How To Get It Back If your body says no but your mind says you should, that’s not desire. That’s conditioning. If you feel guilty for wanting too much — or for not wanting at all — that’s not your libido speaking. That’s a script you inherited. Patriarchy teaches us…

Unlearning Patriarchy and Desire Here’s what nobody tells you: your desire was never meant to be yours. From the moment we’re conscious enough to understand the world around us, we’re handed scripts about what desire should look like. Who should want whom. When. How much. In what ways. These scripts arrive wrapped in Disney fairy…

Why We Keep Dating the Same Type of Person (And How to Break the Cycle) There’s a peculiar moment of recognition that strikes many daters: sitting across from yet another partner who feels oddly familiar, realizing you’ve somehow ended up in the same relationship dynamic you swore you’d avoid. The names and faces change, but…

The Silent Treatment: Understanding Ghosting and Breadcrumbing in Modern Dating In the age of dating apps and instant messaging, finding connection has never been easier—or more confusing. Two phenomena have emerged as defining features of contemporary romance: ghosting and breadcrumbing. If you’ve ever wondered why someone suddenly vanished without explanation or kept you hanging on…

How to Express Your Needs in a Relationship Without Conflict Expressing your needs clearly and respectfully is one of the most important skills in any relationship. When done well, it strengthens connection and understanding. When avoided or handled poorly, unmet needs can lead to resentment, distance, and recurring conflict. The good news is that with…

The Bedroom Battlefield: How Anger Transforms Intimacy In the quiet moments after a fight, when bodies that once moved toward each other now lie rigid at opposite edges of the bed, couples often discover a truth that therapists see every day: anger doesn’t just affect how we talk to each other—it fundamentally changes how we…

Understanding Rage: Ruth King’s Path to Emotional Healing In a world that often tells us to suppress difficult emotions, Buddhist meditation teacher Ruth King offers a radically different approach: what if our rage is trying to teach us something? Through decades of work as an Insight Meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and founder of the Mindful…

The Paradox of Closeness: How to Be Yourself While Being Connected There’s a peculiar tension at the heart of every meaningful relationship: we long to be close to others, yet we need to remain ourselves. We want to merge with someone we love, but we also need our own space, our own thoughts, our own…

The Quiet Ache: Understanding Loneliness and Shame in Relationships One of the most disorienting experiences in life is feeling profoundly lonely while lying next to someone who loves you. Or feeling waves of shame crash over you just as your partner reaches for your hand. These moments contradict everything we’ve been told about relationships—that they’re…

Navigating Romantic Breakups: The Architecture of Disillusion. The end of a romantic relationship constitutes one of life’s most profound psychological disruptions. Unlike other forms of loss, a breakup involves the simultaneous death of a shared future, the revision of personal narrative, and the untangling of intertwined identities. It is both an ending and a forced…

The Hollow Pursuit: When Emptiness Drives Our Sexual Lives There’s a particular kind of loneliness that doesn’t announce itself with tears or obvious despair. It’s quieter than that—a persistent sense that something fundamental is missing, that you’re going through the motions of life without feeling fully present in it. Existential emptiness, philosophers and psychologists call…

The Role of Attunement in Sex, Intimacy and Other Human RelationshipsAttunement is the process of being emotionally present and responsive to another person – reading their emotional state and adjusting your responses accordingly. It’s like an ongoing emotional conversation where you’re continuously sensing and responding to what someone needs in the moment. It’s the ability to…

Practical Steps: How to Develop Relational IntelligenceSo after reading this article about relational intelligence, many of you were curious about the HOW of this. It’s one ting to know it all intellectually, but how do we do it? How does it feel in our bodies? What happens when we take this work from thoughts to…

Beyond the Bedroom: How Polyamory Connects to Broader Social Justice When people think about polyamory, they usually focus on the interpersonal—the jealousy, the scheduling conflicts, the complicated group chat dynamics. But zoom out slightly, and polyamory stops looking like just a relationship choice and starts looking like a lens through which we can examine power,…

Why Breakups Hurt So Much (And How to Actually Heal) Breaking up with someone you love is one of the hardest things you’ll ever go through. It’s not just sad—it’s disorienting, exhausting, and sometimes physically painful. If you’ve ever felt like your chest was caving in or you couldn’t catch your breath after a breakup,…

The Awakening: A Journey Toward Relational Intelligence The Breaking Point It happens on a Tuesday afternoon, unremarkable in every way except for what it changes forever. You’re sitting across from someone you’ve known for years—a close friend, someone whose presence has been woven into the fabric of your life. The conversation started simply enough, but…

Common Struggles With Polyamory and How to Handle Them When Love Multiplies, So Do the Challenges There’s a seductive logic to polyamory that draws people in: if love isn’t a finite resource, why should we limit ourselves to loving just one person? In theory, opening your heart to multiple partners promises more connection, more passion,…

Polyamory Myth-Busting: Separating Facts From Fear Polyamory has become more visible in recent years, yet the misconceptions surrounding it are still abundant. Much of what people believe about consensual non-monogamy comes from stereotypes, misrepresentation in the media, or outdated cultural narratives about what relationships “should” look like. This article breaks down the most common myths…

The Science of Responsive Desire Why Desire Isn’t Always Spontaneous—and Why That’s Completely Normal Many people grow up believing sexual desire works like a light switch: you feel it spontaneously, and then intimacy naturally follows. But research shows that for many adults—especially in long-term relationships—this isn’t the case. Instead, desire often functions in a more…

Healing Sexual Shame Understanding and Reclaiming Your Sexual Self Sexual shame is one of the most common yet least discussed experiences in human sexuality. Many people carry feelings of guilt, embarrassment, or unworthiness related to their desires, fantasies, or sexual expression. These feelings can quietly influence relationships, self-esteem, and even physical pleasure. Healing sexual shame…

The Psychology of Kinks and Fantasies Understanding Desire With Curiosity, Not Judgment Kinks and sexual fantasies are often misunderstood, despite being a completely normal part of human sexuality. Many people carry shame or confusion about their desires, worried they say something negative about who they are. But from a psychological perspective, fantasies are healthy mental…