Pleasure as Ethical Action and Resistance (Community and Connection Focus)
When the world feels like it’s falling apart, joy can feel frivolous—or even ethically complicated. Many of us carry the assumption that prioritizing our own pleasure is self-indulgent. But Audre Lorde reframes pleasure as radical, ethical, and sustaining. She writes, “We have been taught to mistrust our feelings, and to see our satisfaction as irrelevant, when in fact it is a source of power.”
Pleasure is not optional. It is a form of resistance, a way of asserting presence, connection, and agency—even when systems of oppression or crisis seek to drain us. It is ethical because it sustains the very capacities—attention, empathy, energy—needed for care, action, and meaningful connection.
Pleasure Strengthens Community
Joy is never only personal; it ripples outward. Shared laughter, creative collaboration, and moments of embodied presence strengthen networks of connection and mutual care. Pleasure in community is ethical, restorative, and radical—a form of relational resilience.
For example:
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One group of friends started a monthly joy circle, sharing small moments of delight from the week—music, nature walks, creative experiments, or micro-adventures. Even virtually, these gatherings create energy, visibility, and connection.
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Another friend intentionally engages in community art walks, noticing sculptures, murals, and textures with others. Shared attention to the environment sparks conversation, laughter, and collective wonder.
Pleasure helps us show up fully for each other, from a place of abundance rather than depletion. It reconnects us to our bodies, to our communities, and to the world.
The Erotic as Knowledge and Guidance
Audre Lorde defines the erotic not as sexual activity alone, but as a deep awareness of satisfaction, aliveness, and embodied knowing. She writes, “The erotic offers a well of creative energy, a resource within ourselves which can give us the power to scrutinize the world and our lives, and to act upon that knowledge.”
This means:
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Feeling pleasure helps clarify what matters to us.
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Pleasure guides us toward experiences, projects, and connections that sustain life rather than drain it.
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Pleasure allows us to contribute to community from a place of vitality and presence.
Practical Ways to Engage Pleasure as Resistance
Here are ways to cultivate pleasure ethically while deepening connection and community:
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Movement and Embodied Practice
Dance, yoga, tai chi, or improvisation—solo or in groups—stimulates the nervous system and fosters connection. Moving with others amplifies joy and creates a shared sense of vitality. -
Shared Creative Practices
Music, writing, drawing, or photography in collective projects enhances community bonds. Even a shared playlist or collaborative prompt can spark connection, delight, and attention. -
Nature and Sensory Engagement
Walk in parks, gardens, or urban spaces with others. Notice textures, colors, sounds, and light. Conversation, laughter, and shared presence transform ordinary environments into sites of collective pleasure. -
Laughter and Play
Micro-moments of humor—games, improv, playful conversation—release tension and deepen social bonds. Shared laughter restores energy for collective care. -
Mindful Solo Practices
Journaling, listening to music, meditating, or intentional touch reconnects us to our bodies, replenishing energy for community engagement. Pleasure and presence strengthen relational capacity, not diminish it.
Pleasure is Ethical Action
Pleasure is ethical because it sustains the capacity to care, act, and engage in the world. It is not a distraction from grief or responsibility—it is a resource that allows us to act from clarity, presence, and vitality.
Audre Lorde’s insights remind us that the erotic is a well of power: it sustains attention, guides action, and deepens relational awareness. Engaging pleasure in community is resistance, care, and connection all at once.
Last weekend, I wandered through a city art exhibit with friends. We laughed at unexpected sculptures, noticed colors, textures, and light, and shared small joys and curiosities. By the end, I felt replenished, awake, and deeply connected—not only to myself, but to the people around me and the world we share.
Pleasure isn’t frivolous. It isn’t selfish. It is radical, ethical, and sustaining. It is a practice that enables connection, engagement, and resilience, in a world that too often asks us to numb ourselves.
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