Sex, Intimacy & Relationships Advice

Vulnerability, The Last Taboo?In fragile times, it’s often our most intimate and close relationships that suffer. Intimacy is the glue, the enhancer that gives us the drive to connect, and in many situations, also the factor that can be a passion killer for some and the straw that breaks the camel’s back.I have been reflecting…

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Help! I’m losing attraction to my partner!For a lot people in relationships, one thing that comes up often is the fear of what losing attraction to a partner implies. The thought of having to even ‘work’ to get it back feels daunting because so much of what culture teaches us is that love is effortless…

Sex, Relationships & The Single PersonAre you tired of reading about sex and relationships advice that always centers partnered people and those in relationships? Me too.  So here I want to talk to the single people, because singles are often left out of discussions  of sex and relationships, not to mention the effects of living…

 Asking For What You WantWhat’s it like to ask for what you want? I mean to really let yourself be seen in your request?In sex and relationships, many of us hide behind wishes, implied or ignored, hoping that our needs will be met. We remain silent or drop hints about our desires and longings hoping the other…

When a significant relationship has run its course, some of the pain we experience is about letting go of your own history, your shared story. A part of yourself ceases to be in the same form. This is its own special kind of grief.

Rough Sex Anyone?My current lover and I have been having quite rough sex. Hair pulling,  choking and slapping, etc. I am really enjoying it in the moment but afterwards feel a bit strange about it. He is very loving and respectful generally, but I worry I am betraying my feminist principles by allowing / enjoying…

Why Can’t I Come During Sex?*This article is referring exclusively to ciswomen & men”Why can’t I orgasm during sex?” She asks me…perplexed and bewildered.If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question, I’d not only be laughing all the way to the bank, I’d also be making sure everybody knew what…

Navigating Casual SexIt ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.Not everyone is able to be (or wants to be) in a long-term relationship; monogamous or otherwise. More people are relying on casual sex, friends with benefits (FWB) type arrangements or irregular connections for sexual pleasure. People in a variety of age…

Am I ready for an open relationship?One of the biggest changes I have seen in the straight, bi and queer communities in the past 20 years is the interest in and increased visibility of open relationships. Open relationships are romantic and/or sexual relationships that involve seeing one or more people either together as a couple…

Sexual FantasiesWhat Do They Mean?Erotic fantasies are as common as daydreaming. Imagining ourselves in a hot tryst with a (several) flight attendant(s), being desired by strangers at a sex party, doing unspeakable things with a celebrity crush, being punished by a cruel owner or getting paid for sexual acts we’d never do in real life…

Our sex drives don’t match! Ask any couple if their sex drives are in sync 100% of the time and you’ll find the answer is “Hell No!”  This is normal!  But when one partner is usually the ‘initiator’ and/or the other feels pressured and harassed by their advances, this can lead to tension, resentment and…

The Desire MythIf you could take a pill to make food you don’t like, enjoyable, would you take it?If you could take a pill to make yourself watch movies you didn’t like, would you do it?If you could take a pill to make grocery shopping more exciting, would you take it?If you don’t particularly like…

How to Have A Healthy RelationshipWith Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we are about to get bombarded with messages about creating the perfect Valentine’s Day date for your beloved. But the truth is, love isn’t nourished only one day a year. Love is an action. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a way of being in…

Sex & The Vagus Nerve Learn how working with body can reduce tension and help you have better sex. Many of us feel uncomfortable about sex. After all we liv in a culture that doesn’t respect it and doesn’t teach us much, but instead tells us it’s natural – we get tricked into thinking there’s nothing…

How To Have Great SexWhat makes sex great? People have been asking this question for aeons, but wonder no more. According to research, there are 8 crucial elements to optimal sex….and what’s not mentioned may surprise you.This is why there will never ever be a pill for great sex. You have it within you already.…

My Partner Cheated On Me. Now What?There’s no two ways about it. Being cheated on really hurts. While profoundly destabilizing, cheating is common both in marriages (estimated at 25%) and dating relationships (higher still). Even in non-monogamous relationships, people still may be inclined to cheat, bend the truth or even break the rules. The days…

I Cheated. Now What?What To Do When You’ve Had An Affair.No one likes to think of themselves as a cheater, yet conservative estimates suggest cheating happens in approximately 25% of marriages, with numbers being potentially greater in dating relationships. With those figures, it’s likely that you, your partner, or someone you know has been affected…

Sex In The Time of PandemicYou’re not alone if sex is the last thing on your mind at the moment; and hasn’t been for a while.While we have now had time to adjust to the upheaval Covid has brought us, most of us have been woefully ill equipped to navigate the effects of Covid on…

Enhancing Connections (during a pandemic)Heartfelt advice for everyone during this most remarkable of times. Whether single or partnered, being in quarantine is making life tough and straining our relationships. This is Part 1 of my advice on managing stress in relationships during coronavirus quarantine.

How To Create IntimacyYesterday I was at a business meeting in NYC with some colleagues and one proudly announced he was using an app to be more productive, getting up 2 hours earlier so he could work – more!More work? I thought. Is he serious? I was rather stunned, I have to say.Getting up two…

Deepening Connection With Your PartnerNot a week goes by in my practice without meeting a couple who have lost connection. What was once a flurry of feelings and giggles has become little more than ‘meh’.I get it.Life gets in the way – everything else becomes a priority, then all of a sudden you find yourself…

How To Set A Boundary?Many of us do not know that we even have a boundary until it’s been crossed. For a lot of us, working out where our boundaries are, happens as we interact with life. It’s not necessarily something that happens purely as a mental exercise. After all, most of us do not…

Rekindling The Flame  …when life gets in the wayDate nights are great.They can remind you of why you fell in love way back in the beginning, but not if you just sit there staring at each other, or worse still, anxiously waiting for terror to strike in the form of a text from your babysitter.The thing…