Last night I was lucky enough to be a guest at Dr Ian Denham’s enlightening account of the sexual plight of the ANZACS during WW1. He regaled us with the fascinating story of the spread of what was then called … Continued

Erotic fantasies are as common as daydreaming. Imagining ourselves in a hot tryst with a (several) flight attendant(s), being desired by strangers at a sex party, doing unspeakable things with a celebrity crush, being punished by a cruel owner or … Continued

Many people have concerns about their sex lives. After all, sex is an area of human relationships that is difficult to address between lovers and is often skimmed over in couple’s counselling. But if it’s so popular, why is … Continued

Hi Cyndi, I am 23 years old and I’m facing a difficult moment sexually because I have lost my libido. I have no interest in sex and the worst is that I don’t enjoy it anymore. What are some ways … Continued

One of the most frequently asked questions I get from women who come to see me for counselling is about their ability to orgasm. Orgasm, it seems, is the main outcome or goal many of us focus on when discussing … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I am married, age 47, to date have not been able give my wife a single orgasm. Is there a single act where this can be achieved? Carl Dear Carl Thanks for your question. I often hear stories … Continued

Erections (or the absence of) are a delicate issue for those with penises, especially those who identify as men. (Yup, not all people with penises identify as men – but that is for another post). In fact, penis and erection … Continued

Hi, I don’t like sex. I would like to want to have to have sex but as soon as I start I can’t think about anything else but stopping. I am not in a relationship but have dated a few … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I am writing because I have been struggling for many years with my sex life. I have had several sexual experiences (all with men), but most of the time I end up feeling like sex has no meaning … Continued

I am part of several online groups for sex professionals, which are a great source of inspiration and also discussion. Recently, a discussion erupted into a slagging match in which one member criticised some of the senior educators in our … Continued

When sex makes headlines, it’s usually for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. Do a Google News search (see images below) for sex and you will see endless examples of sex gone bad; shame making articles, heinous violations, articles espousing bigger-better-faster-stronger, or … Continued

I just had the most astounding correspondence with a so called ”journalist” from a well-known Australian women’s magazine, wanting to ask me about owning the ”walk of shame”. When I asked her exactly what she wanted me to comment on, … Continued

One of the most powerful lessons I have received in my life and that I draw on heavily in counselling and education with clients is working with the notion of uncertainty. Uncertainty is harrowing in so many ways. It brings … Continued

Sex Positivity, can mean many things to many people. To me, being sex-positive means I embrace the notions of pleasure and sexuality in an affirmative light. I see sex and pleasure as integral parts of the human condition, and not something … Continued

In the West we confuse Beauty with Value, Worthiness and Relevance. Yet unlike these ‘things’, Beauty is fickle, subjective and impermanent. But Passion ( Beauty’s lesser valued counterpart and source of inspiration) is cultivated and refined over a lifetime. Passion … Continued

It’s the intersection between thought and feeling that rattles us so deeply about sex . Not just the acts – but all that it is, personal, physical, political, emotional spiritual and beyond. It’s this land of the unknown that invites us … Continued

Hi folks I am seeking your stories for my book. How do YOU manage to work towards maintaining a sex positive life in a sex negative culture? What kinds of things do you do to help you on the days … Continued

Dear Tropfest Team and  Matt Hardie, It is with both sadness and national embarrassment that I write to you regarding your appraisal of the film Bamboozled- which won Tropfest this year. While I would like to congratulate you – instead … Continued

Feelings are at the heart of satisfying sex – even if it’s erotic feelings – becoming familiar with our feelings helps us become more familiar with ourselves. No two ways about it.

Dear Cyndi, I love flirting on online dating sites but as soon as it comes to meeting up with people I freak out and stop contact.  I’m terrified of meeting people in person. Do you have any tips for how … Continued

My current lover and I have been having quite rough sex. Hair pulling,  choking and slapping, etc. I am really enjoying it in the moment but afterwards feel a bit strange about it. He is very loving and respectful generally, … Continued

In fragile times, it’s often our most intimate and close relationships that suffer. Intimacy is the glue, the enhancer that gives us the drive to connect, and in many situations, also the factor that can be a passion killer … Continued

Recently I have been considering the notion of shame, and the role that it plays in the sex lives of all of us.  Shame, as distinct from embarrassment or guilt, comes initially from an external force that tells us we … Continued