Are You Working Smarter—or Just More?

Yesterday, at a business meeting in NYC, a colleague proudly shared how an app helped him get up two hours earlier to work—more.

More work? Really? It struck me how often we confuse productivity with grinding harder, not smarter. Waking up earlier to spend time on what truly matters—passions, joy, connection—makes sense. But sacrificing rest just to chase more work or money? That feels like a fast track to burnout.

My work is about making space for pleasure, both in my life and for my clients. If I gain two extra hours, would I spend them working more—or savoring life? I know which choice I'd cherish in the long run.

Why Do We Resist Pleasure?

Choosing joy and connection often feels indulgent in a world obsessed with output. Does that sound familiar? Do you notice resistance when prioritizing intimacy, self-care, or anything truly meaningful?

Resistance is sneaky. It shows up as procrastination, distraction, or the belief that pleasure can wait. Sometimes, it's a healthy boundary. But often, it’s our mind’s way of avoiding deeper truths.

The Real Regrets of Life

Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, captured this beautifully in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Notice a pattern? None of these regrets are about productivity. They're about connection—to self, others, and life itself.

The Cost of Resistance

I often see clients reach out after years of disconnection—when life hits a breaking point. Resistance keeps us stuck: forgetting to prioritize intimacy, numbing with busyness, or believing connection can wait.

It’s not just mental. Our bodies hold resistance too. Like a kinked hose blocking water flow, tension shuts down the flow of love, energy, and joy. We become so used to this tightness, it feels normal.

From Resistance to Connection

Resistance isn’t the enemy—it’s self-protection. But when we approach it with curiosity rather than avoidance, it softens. We reconnect with pleasure, authenticity, and vitality.

If this speaks to you, I invite you to explore what’s beyond resistance. Whether through tailored coaching or my online Pleasure School, the path to deeper connection—within yourself and with others—starts here.

Prioritizing intimacy is a lifelong commitment. Why not begin today?