What is Sex Therapy?
People seek out sex therapy for a variety of reasons. Being able to talk to someone in a safe and confidential environment, free of shame and judgement is an important part of sex therapy. Not all sex therapists and sexologists work the same way, and sometimes it’s good to have a sense of your therapist’s values and credentials around sexuality to be sure they are a good fit for you.
For Individuals, Couples & Beyond
This could involve discussing everything including:
- physical experiences
- deeper awareness of how your body works
- mental and emotional processing
- changing your mindset
- understanding (your or your partners’) fantasies and turn-ons
- examining relationship dynamics
- improving communication skills
- learning how to touch and be touched
- how you can alter your approach to working with problems and finding solutions
- expanding your sexual knowledge
- education & myth busting
- practical skills for white–hot sex
How I Work
Whilst being a specialist in sexuality and its related issues, my approach to therapy (sex therapy / general counseling) or private sessions is in working with the whole person. This means I work with you in the context of your life– not just your sex life.
I have had the opportunity to discuss sexuality at an intimate level with literally thousands of people across around the world. This has lead me to the conclusion that sexuality is not separate from who we are, it’s part of who we are. Treating the whole person is vital when exploring sexuality. This means we may need to look at how sexuality operates in your life overall, not just within a particular isolated problem or issue. Whether working with individuals or couples, when sex issues come up, they are rarely just about sex acts alone.
Being trained in both counseling and sex therapy I am able to offer expert assistance with sexual concerns. I can support and facilitate your journey through complex sexual and emotional terrain helping you feel more embodied, connected and present to your erotic potential.
How Many Sessions Will I Need?
Different people process sexuality, learning and therapy differently. For some people just one or two sessions is enough to get them on track For those looking to really commit to change and fulfillment 10 sessions would be common. After that, clients may like to have top-ups every now & again when it suits them.
Training & Practice
It’s important to note that many people working in sex therapy and relationship counselling have not actually studied sexuality- so it’s always a good idea to check if your chosen practitioner has any background in studying and understanding sexuality– not just psychology or medicine. Sexological study (clinical or otherwise) is what distinguishes sex therapists from psychologists or other kinds of health practitioners. Sex happens in the body as well as the mind and emotions. Understanding sexuality requires an integrative approach- this means understanding how it all works together. Depending upon what you’re looking for this may be important to you.
My role is to help you have the best sex you can have.In sex therapy we’ll talk about what you’re experiencing, feeling and thinking about sex. Together we’ll identify what’s working for you and what’s not. We’ll look at how you want your sex and relationships to be and develop ways to make those changes. We’ll help you work out the best approach to working through these issues with a combination of ‘talk- therapy’ and (depending upon you) some solutions or practical activities / homework or exciting Tantra or embodiment practices to get you more connected to your body and your sexuality.
Reasons You Might Want to See Me:
- Erectile problems and solutions beyond medical interventions
- Orgasm problems (too much / too many / not enough / not at all)
- Desire & libido difficulties
- Arousal difficulties
- Ejaculation problems
- Lack of knowledge/confidence/skill
- Explore deeper and more connected sexuality
- Learn about Tantra/spiritual sexuality
- Struggling with sexual confidence/body image
- Concerns around porn consumption/seeing sex workers/ attending sex parties / hook-up sex
- Exploring infidelity
- Alternative approaches to sex practices
- Exploring sexuality / orientation / gender identity
- Coming out / changing identity
- Painful sex
- Bored within a relationship
- Adult sex ed for the 21st century
- Exploring troublesome turn-ons & turn-offs, fantasies & mental / emotional health
- Understanding / support for problematic/erratic sexual behaviour (sometimes called sex addiction)
Couples / Relationships
- Reinvigorating a long-term relationship
- Working through relationship difficulties
- Managing your sex life
- Making time for fulfilling sex
- Improving communication
- Dealing with differences in libido
- Dealing with changes in ageing
- Processing difficult emotions including betrayal, hurt, jealousy & anger
- Dealing with changes in a relationship
- Exploring function / dysfunction and satisfaction
- Exploring open relationships and non-monogamy
- Exploring kink and alternative sex practices
- Starting and ending relationships
- Learning about your lovers’ body
What Sex Therapy Is Not
People sometimes still feel confused about what sex therapy is and is not, even after reading this description. This makes sense in so many ways because we live in a world that is often so uncomfortable discussing and exploring sexuality and the feelings that go with it. Sex therapy (like psychotherapy) is not a passive experience. This means that you as a client are actively engaged in the process every step of the way. What you bring to the sessions determines where we go, what we do and how things unfold; at your speed, at your pace. Clients are invited to really participate in thinking, doing, feeling and compassionate self inquiry in order to re-frame their understanding of sex and sexuality or make the changes required to solve the problems they struggle with in their lives. Unlike doctors and medical professionals who tend to ‘prescribe’, or separate sex from the rest of your life and treat symptoms rather than the root of problems, sex therapy with me is a deeper process that requires your commitment and attention, to explore outside the square in order to experience deep change at the levels you seek. The more you engage in the process the more you will get out of it.
Ready To Join Me?
People seek out sex therapy all the time. Many self-refer and occasionally some come as suggested by their doctor. You do not need a doctor’s referral to see me, but you will definitely need to email me to make an appointment for a face-to-face consultation in New York (or online globally).
No need to be shy or embarrassed. I look forward to hearing from you.