1. Practice slowing your masturbation down Why? You get to focus on different parts of your genitals or nipples. For example, if you are accustomed to quick wanking or using a vibrator to get off, practice using a slower technique and notice which parts of your genitals and nipples are more sensitive than others.
2. Penises. Instead of just jerking off to orgasm, try stimulating one part of your cock at a time. A lot of folks find the frenulum (this is the yummy little triangle in the underside of your penis where it joins the foreskin – where it is or was) is really a delicious spot to touch with the pad of your forefinger. Using lube, make little circles on this area and experiment with pressure and speed.
2a. Practice extending your orgasm by getting yourself turned on, but just before you feel you are about to come, take your hands away and shift your breathing to your nose only. This helps you control your ejaculation giving you more choice about how you come and when. Practicing this regularly is a great way to train yourself to last longer during partnered sex.
3. Labia. Take the time to get to know your labia. Both inner and outer. If you haven’t had a good look at yours, make May the month to get out a mirror and have a look around. Using lube really explore the areas you mightn’t usually, like the area between the labia and the forchette, the area where the lips meet at their lowest point, above the anus. How long does it take for your pussy to start to swell? Take selfies of your pussy before, during and after arousal – to see how much it varies during these stages of arousal.
3a. Rock around the Clit Clock. (I learnt this one from my pal Barbara Carrellas) Imagine your clit is a clock face Spend 2 minutes making tiny circles with your finger on each point of the clock face.Use lube but not too much – it desensitises. Which o’clocks feel best to you? A lot of us find the area between 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock the most divine.
4. Instead of racing to orgasm, see how much stimulation you can take and how long it takes you to get to maximum wetness, hardness and arousal. For a lot of us it can be a while. You might surprise yourself at just how much pleasure you can have. After all, why scoff down a delicious meal? Learn to savour each nibble as if it were your last!
Find out more about erotic anatomy!
All this masturbation and attention to detail gives you more knowledge of your body and how it works and what it loves. The more you know the more you can share with others. To learn more tips like this, subscribe to my newsletter to keep in touch.
*This article also appears with permission on adultmatchmaker.com.au