I dont like sex. What’s wrong with me?

Mar 192013

Hi,

I don’t like sex. I would like to want to have to have sex but as soon as I start I can’t think about anything else but stopping. I am not in a relationship but have dated a few guys in the last year. Friends just say I haven’t met the right guy but if I think of my history there was only ever one guy I enjoyed sex with. A guy has never made me orgasim and I can only make myself using a vibrator (which I do enjoy). I feel confused and lonely by this because society is so sexually focused. What should I do?

Mish

Dear Mish,

This is a very intricate situation you are in here, and interestingly you are not alone.

Sex for you appears to be fraught with conflicting feelings. You don’t like it, but you’d like to like it, You can’t come with others, but you can come( and enjoy it) by yourself. You’ve only ever enjoyed sex with one partner and your friends are telling you ‘’you haven’t met the right guy yet’’. Yes, you’re right. Society is OBSESSED with sex, and often mediocre sex at that. It is lonely and it is confusing.

The social obsession with sex is reflective of the levels of cultural repression and disdain there is for sex and sexuality across the board. I have often wondered if we in Australia invested as much time, money and energy into exploring and teaching sexuality as we did on say sport, how different the cultural landscape of Australia would be?

In many parts of Australia, UK and the USA, sex is still very much a taboo topic, while among more progressive thinkers sex can be referred to as ‘’just sex, it’s no big deal’’! My position is that a multi-million dollar online sex industry tells me It IS a big deal! It’s a REALLY big deal, it’s just been funnelled into very compartmentalised ways of accessing it; all hidden and all tainted with shame. People are FASCINATED by sex but have few avenues to get information! Whether you sit at either end of the sex / taboo binary or somewhere in the middle, sex is rarely seen for beauty that it is, the source of connection to the Self and an unlimited tool for pleasure.

While there is so much pressure for people to be partnered or at other extremes totally open, we leave ourselves few models for understanding the texture of sex and relationships. Developing a sense of connection to your erotic self can be a pathway to self discovery and connection, but when that pathway bears the distraction of cultural conventions, what could be a pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, becomes a source of anxiety and shame. Without a relationship to one’s own sexuality, it can be quite a difficult ( but not impossible ) path to greater erotic intelligence.

There is a small percentage of the global population who report no or very little interest in (partnered) sex. The current statistics suggest around 1% of the population feel that the descriptors of asexuality are applicable to them. Without a thorough consultation it is hard to know if this is a label you feel applies to you, but you are not alone in feeling disconnected from sex or the desire to do it.

There are a few factors here though that can help you work through this.

Firstly, ask yourself why you have sex? This seems an unusual question to many, but it can often be one of the greatest indicators into a conversation with ourselves about sex. Examining our motives for exploring sex can really help us better understand our needs.

Secondly, consider the people who are in your life (friends and lovers). How would you describe the connections you have with them? Having dated a few guys in the last year and not liked them doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you, nor them. It could well be a reflection of a culture that does not give itself the permission to allow pleasure to be at its core. How on Earth are we expected to know what great sex can be when we live in a society that doesn’t prioritise it?

Thirdly, you can consider how YOU prioritise sex and give yourself permission to think outside the square when it comes to exploring your eroticism. Read widely and attend workshops and seminars on different topics about sex and sexuality or find a sex coach to work with you for a more personalised approach.

Good Luck

Cyndi

March 19, 2013 anxiety, feelings / emotions, intimacy, My Blog, pleasure, practice, Q & A Forum, relationships, sex, sex education, shame, wellbeing Comments Off

Sex Just Feels Too Difficult!

Aug 272012

Sex Just Feels Too Difficult!

I have chronic pain and a host of other medical issues that have meant I’m now on disability, possibly permanently. The medication for it leaves me chronically exhausted but I still crave sex. I haven’t been active for 12 years, and I’ve had a few offers from women overseas, but even if I could go over there and not end up with my pension cut, I worry about my lack of performance. I might not be able to have an erection, let alone orgasm. While overseas offers have the advantage of being hypothetical, the fact is my life would be better with someone in it, and I miss sexual interaction. What can I do to compensate for having a disabled body? Would a woman tolerate that sort of limitation?

Women seem very demanding sexually now, and to an extent I have to admit to finding it all too difficult and wishing I could just have a sexbot! I was reading the other day that on average it took 20 minutes of stimulation for a woman to orgasm, and more with aging , and I just felt like it was all a bit pointless.

Should I just give up?

Dave

Dear Dave,

Your situation sounds extremely frustrating on a variety of levels. From your letter it sounds very much like you’re not only craving sex, you’re also craving intimacy and connection; a partnership.

It seems you’re not meeting women locally, or especially the kind of women you might like to meet. You are not alone there. There are many people, abled, and not, of all genders who struggle to find companions for life, sex and intimacy. Our culture is very ‘couple’ oriented, and this can leave those of us ‘un-partnered’ feeling somehow, out of sorts. The truth is, finding a life partner and creating and sustaining a long term relationship requires more than just having an abled body, it’s also about being willing to be vulnerable, compromise, communicate and take initiative when required.

I cannot speak for all women when you ask “Would a woman tolerate that sort of limitation?”, but my hunch is you’re after a woman who will do more than just tolerate you? A partner who is attracted to the other things you offer would certainly be capable of a whole lot more than just ‘tolerating’ you, provided your connection and communication in other areas was fulfilling for the both of you also.

This leads me to encourage you to focus on what you do have to offer rather than just on your short comings. Your fears about performance anxiety, while relevant, are extremely common among both abled and disabled bodies alike. Not everyone is a sex machine all the time! Everyone has days of feeling concerned about their performance, but when this prevents you from actually being able to connect with another person, I would encourage you to seek out the services of a counsellor (either myself; face-to-face, via Skype, or someone in your area) to talk through your anxiety issues and your expectations of yourself and women in relationships.

You admit that you do find it all too difficult and would prefer to have a sexbot. Your sexbot idea is in fact also a solution (and a valid one at that), but I wonder how satisfying that will be for you given your desire for a relationship and a connection. Whether it takes a woman 20 minutes to orgasm or whether at all, ideally would have little bearing on your motivations for sex if you are in fact looking for a genuine connection. There are a huge variety of fabulous sex toys etc on the market these days to enhance women’s pleasure, and assist in times of ”sex fatigue”. I wonder if your ‘pointless’ feeling is more psychological / emotional than physical?

You may also like to consider some of the services offered by the good people at Touching Base to have face-to-face conversations about your concerns regarding your sexuality and your chronic pain management / disabilty.

Cyndi

August 27, 2012 anxiety, communication, feelings / emotions, health, intimacy, men, My Blog, pleasure, Q & A Forum, relationships, sex, sex education, wellbeing Comments Off

Overcoming online dating fears

Aug 032012

Overcoming Online Dating Fears

Dear Cyndi,

I love flirting on online dating sites but as soon as it comes to meeting up with people I freak out and stop contact. I’m terrified of meeting people in person. Do you have any tips for how I can overcome this?

Greg. Northcote

Dear Greg,

What you’re describing is a common phenomenon in this age of internet dating. As we know it’s easy to create a fabulous persona behind a computer screen where we can create a fantasy of the kind of person we would like to be. This of course fills a great void for many people, but the problem lies in becoming attached to the idea of being someone’s fantasy figure, or beyond that, your own fantasy figure. All of this is profoundly unfulfilling for everyone concerned in a long –term capacity.

First of all, ask yourself what you are terrified of. If you are afraid of being rejected or of them not liking you, that is a very real possibility that everyone has to face from time to time. You are not alone there. You might not like them either! Not everyone likes everyone else. Chalk that one up to acceptance. If you are afraid of the fantasy ending………………………then don’t meet them! But accept that you’re really denying yourself a terrific opportunity for fun and companionship. (Do the honourable thing and let them know you have no desire to meet. It’s never OK to hurt someone else’s feelings because you’re too consumed with your own.)

Next, don’t let the online interactions go on too long before meeting. It’s very easy to get caught up in the fantasy of who you’re talking to, and start creating an image in your head of who this person might be as opposed to who they are. This can lead to you feeling overly intimidated which can be disappointing when you do finally meet.

Also, be realistic. Online dating is really hit and miss. Some people will be genuinely looking for love / sex / companionship, and others will be just playing around. Some will be truly great people and others will be mediocre or at worst, liars. The supermodel / entrepreneur / enigmatic artist at the other end of the chat room might not be as fabulous as they appear to be online!

Finally remember that blind dates are notoriously nerve wracking, and for some its part of the fun. Your date will most likely be feeling nervous too. Give yourself permission to be nervous, and state it! “I’m feeling a little nervous right now” is enough. This statement of fact can diffuse the nerves more than trying to fight them, and allows your date the permission to do the same! This is a much better way to start a date than under false pretences or getting too drunk just to hide the nerves.

Letting fear hold you back denies you the opportunity to develop these skills and meet some wonderful people who you may never otherwise meet. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the ride.

August 3, 2012 anxiety, communication, feelings / emotions, intimacy, My Blog, online dating, Q & A Forum, relationships, shame Comments Off

Painful anal sex

Jun 282012

Painful Anal Sex

I’ve been seeing a really hot guy for a few months now and we’ve totally dived straight into a relationship. I know that we both want it to be a long term thing and I really feel that it will be. We have really great hot sex and are totally compatible. We’re both versatile and he seems to like taking turns at either role as much as I do. The only problem is when he fucks me it often ends up really hurting and I can’t help reacting – which just kills things. Everything is usually fine until just before he comes, when he pushes too deep and hard, which hurts too much and I can’t hide that it does. We’ve talked about it and he’s promised to be more careful, but it still keeps happening. He says he gets carried away and caught up in the moment of wanting to come, and that’s when he thrusts really hard. While I totally understand that he can get carried away during sex, the fact it always ends up hurting means I really don’t like being fucked by him. And its made worse because even when its not hurting I get tense because I keep anticipating the moment when it will. Lately I find that I’ve been trying to avoid letting him fuck me but I know that this can’t last. I really want it to work with this guy, so I’d really appreciate any advice you can give.

Gavin. Melbourne

Dear Gavin,

Your dilemma does sound troubling and not uncommon for people of all genders who are engaging in anal sex. Firstly, it sounds like you have a great relationship with him and this is a fantastic aspect to working with a situation like this. Painful sex is usually caused by the same few things

Not being warmed up enough
Not enough lube
Being tense

You mentioned that even though you have discussed it with him, he gets carried away and forgets your feelings. This would be fine if it didn’t bother you, but it does! First and foremost, you have to explain to him ( again) that this kind of sex is unpleasant and is actually painful for you. As you say, it’s fine until up to the end where it starts to hurt. Explore other ways of helping him cum, as intercourse is not the only form of sex available. You can extend the pleasure if he pulls out and you extend his arousal using your hand or mouth (a safer sex warning here; anal to mouth can have bacterial consequenses for you, so be conscious of the risks involved from ingesting fecal matter. Also if you’re not fluid bonded ( ie; have regular STI tests and know each other’s status) condoms and hand relief are advised).

If you feel the need to work on your capacity as an anal receiver, I suggest you practice slowly. Make sure you’re using enough (LOTS) of lube. There are a lot of great lubes around made especially for anal sex, they are thicker and more viscose than regular lubes. Avoid tensing up by breathing deep into your abdomen and bearing down with the anal muscles. This helps relax the whole area. Alternatively experiment with different positions, as some positions are more painful than others depending upon your internal anatomy. Try lying flat on your stomach, on your back or on your side!

Also never assume that great sex is always just about intercourse, or always about cumming. Rule of thumb though; if any sex hurts too much and in a way that you dont like STOP! It’s your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. Never EVER use numbing agents. They stop you from feeling, and that is the LAST thing to do when you’re having sex! Serious damage can occur when you cant feel anything.

Respect your body and it will respect you back.

With Pleasure

Cyndi

June 28, 2012 adult, anal sex, communication, health, men, My Blog, pleasure, practice, Q & A Forum, rough sex, sex Comments Off

Sex Education………..why it DOES matter.

Apr 192012

Here is a piece I wrote during my Master’s degree at Uni of Sydney on why comprehensive and age-appropriate sex education is essential. I was absolutely floored to find out that Sex Ed is not compulsory in all Australian schools, and religious schools can be exempt from teaching it on moral grounds. What startles me is that this information is in direct opposition to the terms set out by the World Health Organisation about what constitutes sex education as a basic human right. I wonder how it is justifiable that sex education could or should be denied to anyone in this day and age?

Here in the state of Victoria, sex education is compulsory, but not enforced nor are teachers provided with time or incentives for adequate training. Sex Ed in Australian schools is often taught by the teacher that draws the shortest straw, and while an attempt is being made at addressing the topic on a very rudimentary level, an ineffective, poorly-trained, judgemental or sexually traumatised teacher can potentially create even more problems for students in the long run. This of course is not the teachers’ fault, nor at times even the schools’ , but rather it’s a question of the distribution of resources and the emphasis within both the public and private sector on the importance of age-appropriate comprehensive sex education; who trains the teachers in effective sex ed when there’s barely enough money for basic supplies? In a country as bountiful as Australia, there is absolutely no excuse and this needs to change!

When considering developmental approaches toward comprehensive child / adolescent sex education, a range of factors must be taken into account. Whilst sex education in many nations has traditionally been a contentious issue and riddled with moral judgement, mounting evidence reveals that denying young people access to sex-positive information and ignoring their own learning initiatives does nothing to serve the individuals involved, nor the community at large. Instead, young people should be primed for mature sexual relationships by exploring grassroots sexual health and reproduction information, alongside opportunities to develop social competence, emotional-processing and esteem-building skills. This paper will examine and address a range of sex education frameworks from around the world, and provide a rationale that calls for a holistic, multi-faceted approach to sex education from junior primary to senior high school years. This framework incorporates school-based education teamed with involvement from health and community care professionals and organisations, as well as parents and most importantly, the young people themselves.

According to the W.H.O, sexual health is:

“a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (1)

This definition provides a solid foundation to measure the outcomes of not only good sexual health, but also a functional sex education framework. To support young people’s overall sexual health, graded age-appropriate programs should be implemented, taught and supported in accordance with the values as described by the W.H.O.

According to Massey, (2) sex education begins at birth and continues to be delivered by society, family, peers, experiences and educators throughout life. Hobbie (3) also notes that developing positive attitudes toward sexuality at an early age is essential if children are to grow up feeling good about themselves and in control of their bodies. Yet when young children engage in masturbation and sexual play for pleasure, adults place moral judgment upon this otherwise innocent behaviour.(4) A comparative study of sex education in several developed nations showed that children as young as 5 start asking questions about sex, and within a few years many have already begun to associate talking about sex with shame, fear of being punished or making their parents angry or embarrassed.(5) In contrast, it was noted that Swedish children were an exception and displayed more freedom in their approach to sexual enquiry. (5)This is reflected in a society that had comparatively lower teenage pregnancy and STI rates than most other developed nations across the world, until economic crisis meant cut backs on sex-education in the late 90s and rates of abortion and STIs consequently rose among teens. (6) Although young children’s needs around sexual knowledge differ vastly from those entering puberty, it is evident that children both younger and older need to have open enquiry about sexuality to facilitate their sexual choices and wellbeing.

Bearing this in mind, it is important to consider what some of the fundamental differences were between the way other developed nations approached sex education, and the way it was embraced in Sweden to yield such effective results. The Swedish approach extended beyond school-based programs; embracing sexuality as an essential part of life. Supported by a myriad of community professionals as well as parents, the programs provided a multi-faceted and comprehensive structure that was essentially an extension of Swedish culture. (7) Such a comprehensive sex education program requires not only teachers but parents to be better equipped to deal with children and adolescents’ interests, and be better able to assist when required. (8) Programs must also educate parents and community leaders on how to better assist young people exploring their sexuality. The proven effectiveness of the Swedish sex / health program lends itself toward encouraging Australian health and education developers, as well as parents, to consider Sweden’s holistic treatment of sex education in light of this affirmative data.

In stark contrast, teenage pregnancy and abortion rates are particularly high in certain parts of the USA where in many cases an abstinence-only approach to sex education is used. (9) Visser & van Bilsen note the puritanical approach to sex education in parts of the USA means it is difficult for young people to get access to information and contraception. (9) As a result, young people end up in vulnerable situations with little or no opportunities for recourse, which systematically violates of the principles of healthy human sexuality as outlined by the W.H.O.

A holistic view of sexuality understands that sex does not exist outside of one’s life but is part of one’s life. To better understand the complexity of the lives of young people, the impact of relationships, media, pop culture and the internet and their effect on sexuality cannot be ignored. Broader aspects of successful sex education programs around the world look not only at the fundamentals of basic physical sexual health covering details about STIs, how they’re spread and best methods for effective protection and contraception, but also comprehensive understanding about navigating human relationships (7), as well as the social and emotional aspects of sex.(10) Kirby extends this rationale to include awareness of socio-cultural factors influencing students’ self-esteem and ability to make smart and informed choices. (11) Many Australian secondary schools already employ programs that deal with sexual health and contraception. More are embarking upon education and support programs for students exploring same-sex attraction, whilst new research advocates additional programs that explore the broader social construct of gender and transgender education programs, (12) and recognition of family diversity, (13) all of which complement the W.H.O definition.

Further to this, it is important not to ignore the more confronting needs of young people by sticking only to safe prescribed topics.(2)Recent studies in Sweden revealed that 91% of boys and 57% of girls between the ages of 15-18 have seen pornographic films, and had mixed feelings about both the content and its effect on their sexuality.(14) By working with this trend (resisting moral judgement and seeing it as an opportunity for discussion and learning) rather than against it, (by moralising, similar to an ineffective abstinence-only focus,) programs and educators can widen the scope for educational opportunities to include addressing and processing uncomfortable emotions; both of which help develop communication skills that have significant bearing on healthy sexual function.

Evidence suggests that it is neither the source of information nor the methodology used to teach that has the greatest impact, but rather a multi-faceted approach to both content and process that yields the best results in terms of adolescents’ life decisions and wellbeing.(8) The effectiveness of sex education programs have consistently shown that a single-pronged approach to sex education is limited and less effective, especially if sex cannot be explored outside of school.(9) Furthermore, sex education programs in the USA have shown successful learning outcomes are achieved when they include a combination of clear messages around health, individual health clinic appointments, community-service learning programs (work experience / field trips) and longer-term life management programs.(15) (Emotional processing and communication skills)

Sex education is not something that should be endured, but rather something to be explored. The extent to which Australia embraces the values of the W.H.O definition of sexual health will determine the extent to which our young people will receive the best possible education regarding their sexuality. By accepting that healthy sexuality is a basic human right, and not something reserved for only a privileged few, we can confidently utilise proven approaches to work toward developing educational frameworks that are both relevant and effective.

References

1 World Health Organisation. World Health Organisation International. 2010. http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/gender_rights/sexual_health/en/

(accessed November 16, 2010)

2 Massey, D.E. School Sex Education: Knitting without a pattern? Health Education Journal. Volume 49. No 3, 1990. 134-142

3 Hobbie, C. Sex education for children and adolescents. Journal of Pediatric Health Care. Patient Education Review. ( St Paul Children’s Hospital) Minnesota. (no date provided)

4 Kang, M. Age of Consent laws: Puritan notions of right and wrong. On Line Opinion, 2005.1-3

5 Goldman, R.J , & Goldman, J.D.G. Sources of Sex Information for Australian, English, North American and Swedish Children. The Journal of Psychology, 1981: 97-108.

6 Edgardh, K. Adolescent sexual health in Sweden. Sexually Transmitted Infections. 78, 2002: 352-356

7 Pettersson, G. Why are you all so interested in sex? New Statesman, June 2004: 27-28

8 Somers, C. L. & Gleason, J.H. Does source of sex education predict adolescents’ sexual knowledge, attitudes and behaviours? Education ( Summer) 121 ; 4, 2001: 674-681

9 Visser, P. A. & van Bilsen, P. The effectiveness of sex education provided to adolescents. Patient Education and Counselling 23, 1994: 147-160

10 Blakely, V. & Frankland, J. Sex Education for Parents.Health Education, 1996: 9-13.

11 Kirby, D. The impact of schools and school programs upon adolescent sexual behavior. The Journal of Sex Research. 39: 1 February 2002. 27-33

12 Berkowitz, D. & Manohar, N.N. & Tinkler, J.E. Walk Like a Man, Talk Like a Woman. Sage Journals Online. 03 May 2010. http://tso.sagepub.com.ezproxy1.library.usyd.edu.au/content/38/2/132.full.pdf+html

(accessed November 16, 2010)

13 Biblarz , T.J. &Evren, S. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Families. Journal of Marriage and family. Volume 72. Issue 3, 2010: 480-497

14 Johanssen, T, &Hammaren, N. Hegemonic Masculinity and Pornography: Young people’s attitudes toward and relations toward pornography. Journal of Men’s Studies, Winter, 15:1, 2007: 57-70

15 Kirby, D. Effective approaches to reducing adolescent unprotected sex, pregnancy, and childbearing. The Journal of Sex Research . February 2002. 51-57

April 19, 2012 adult, health, kids, My Blog, parents, practice, sex, sex education, teachers, teens, wellbeing Comments Off

Pondering Shame

Feb 252012

Recently I have been considering the notion of shame, and the role that it plays in the sex lives of all of us. Shame, as distinct from embarrassment or guilt, comes initially from an external force that tells us we are bad or wrong because of something that we do, say or like. This force could be family, school or most often religious institutions and even the media, that presents sanitised and uninformed images of ‘normal’ sexuality. Yet, given the amount of shame surrounding our sexuality, does anyone REALLY have any idea what ‘normal sexuality’ even is? And how has it come to pass that such institutions as schools, religious organisations and the all powerful media have any capacity to even determine what normality is, when the complexity and diversity of sexuality is rarely acknowledged, or discussed in public without a veil of shame or fear surrounding it? Sex and sexuality often end up in the too hard basket. This hardly seems fair, unbiased or even humane to me.

Many of us encounter shame for the first time as children. If we were ‘’caught’’ masturbating, or self-pleasuring in anyway, we may have been chastised, told-off or somehow made to feel inadequate and perhaps even damaged in some way for our behaviour or desire. We learn from a young age, that THAT kind of pleasure is not acceptable. So we learn to keep it inside.

Silent.

The desire never goes away.

It just eats away at us. Our guilty little secret.

Silenced.

Yet we are expected to lead fulfilling sex lives and intimate relationships that maintain a sanitised level of morality, because THAT of course, is NORMAL. So, who exactly expects this of us? Often, WE DO! We are our own worst nightmare and Chief Commissioner of our very own fun police!

Let’s see this in more detail.

Once we leave school or our families of origin, we’re free! We’re free to make our own decisions and live our lives as we see fit. The shame that was once put upon has lifted and we’re open to the world. Right? Well, maybe…………………. but maybe not.

How many of us can say that we are able to freely engage in all of our genuine desires without a degree of shame?
How many of us are terrified that if our lovers knew this about me, they’d leave me for sure?
How many of us have been coerced into doing things we may not have wanted to do for fear of being abandoned, yet not being able to talk about it?
How many of us have wanted to engage in something new or different from the regular routine but been too terrified to ask for it?
How many of us feel our body is not good enough?

Part of living in the West means having encountered some or all of these kinds of aspects of shame. You are not alone.

BUT, even though you may have escaped the school, church or family that taught you that you were not worthy, many of us find it hard to let go of this profound and at times impermeable conditioning. Our internal all-knowing, all-judging harsh moral arbitrator determines what’s allowed and what’s forbidden. We keep ourselves in a perpetual state of self- shame by remaining silent about our innermost desires, fears or passions and believing that if we were to share that side of ourselves, we would be inherently, permanently unloveable.

So, what to do about this?

The process of dismantling shame can come in many forms.

Friends, lovers, therapists, support groups, art, comedy, books, workshops, seminars are all fabulous ways of beginning to dismantle the shame walls that may exist around you. The more you begin to explore, the more chance you have of finding that there are many, many, many others who feel similarly to you. I’d even take an educated stab and say, MOST of the population.

Sanitised morality is a fabricated construction. It is NOT normal, and it is not controlled by you. Only YOU are in control of your sexuality and pleasure, and it is your right AND your responsibility to take care of your well-being.

If you haven’t already, I enthusiastically encourage you take the first step on the journey to a more fulfilled you today. You could start by contacting me for a private session, or explore any of the links on my LINKs page to find some Melbourne resources to get you underway.

You may find that it will actually change your life, forever.

February 25, 2012 adult, anxiety, intimacy, men, My Blog, pleasure, sex, sex education, shame, Uncategorized, women Comments Off

First 24 Hours

Feb 102012

Hello again,

In news just in, our PODCAST had over 1800 hits overnight!

What a fabulous effort pleasure enthusiasts!

February 10, 2012 adult, genitals, intimacy, men, My Blog, pleasure, podcast, practice, sex, sex education, women Comments Off

New Podcast Released

Jan 132012

Wow. What an exhilarating day! Talk about PLEASURE overload.

Pleasure of course can be sourced from a squillion locations both internally and externally, and today mine came in the form of the GLORIOUS Catherine Deveny AND everyone of you who popped by my site and followed me on Facebook and Twitter leaving your comments of praise and encouragement!

By 7pm this evening, our podcast on vaginas and some of their workings had had over 1000 hits which really screams that there are a whole lotta folk TRULY interested in genuine, intelligent conversations about sex and sexuality and its function in our lives.

I am just thrilled at the response from the listeners. I love your comments and your questions. Keep ‘em coming.

With pleasure

Cyndi

January 13, 2012 adult, genitals, My Blog, pleasure, podcast, practice, sex, sex education, women Comments Off