Last night I was lucky enough to be a guest at Dr Ian Denham’s enlightening account of the sexual plight of the ANZACS during WW1. He regaled us with the fascinating story of the spread of what was then called … Continued

Erotic fantasies are as common as daydreaming. Imagining ourselves in a hot tryst with a (several) flight attendant(s), being desired by strangers at a sex party, doing unspeakable things with a celebrity crush, being punished by a cruel owner or … Continued

My post just before the holidays late last year was a reflection on the struggles of having unresolved feelings during ‘happy’ times. When we don’t join in with the ‘happy-happy-joy-joy’ we can feel we are the odd one out. … Continued

Many people have concerns about their sex lives. After all, sex is an area of human relationships that is difficult to address between lovers and is often skimmed over in couple’s counselling. But if it’s so popular, why is … Continued

Hi Cyndi, I am 23 years old and I’m facing a difficult moment sexually because I have lost my libido. I have no interest in sex and the worst is that I don’t enjoy it anymore. What are some ways … Continued

One of the most frequently asked questions I get from women who come to see me for counselling is about their ability to orgasm. Orgasm, it seems, is the main outcome or goal many of us focus on when discussing … Continued

Relationships are complex. Whether at work, home, family or friends – our relationships make up so much of what is important in our lives. Despite this, relationships are also a source of struggle for many of us, if not all … Continued

Out of the closet and into our lives, anal is indeed the new black. My good friend and sex educator colleague Tristan Taormino says that ‘anal is the great equaliser – because everybody has one’. But the egalitarian nature … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I am married, age 47, to date have not been able give my wife a single orgasm. Is there a single act where this can be achieved? Carl Dear Carl Thanks for your question. I often hear stories … Continued

Erections (or the absence of) are a delicate issue for those with penises, especially those who identify as men. (Yup, not all people with penises identify as men – but that is for another post). In fact, penis and erection … Continued

Non monogamy is all the rage; that is…consensual non monogamy. In Australia recently the ABC aired a terrific series called You Can’t Ask That – where taboos surrounding sex work, gender, relationships, body image, mental health, religion and race were … Continued

I get some very funny reactions when I am at dinner parties and people find out what my job is. So many  wonder what it is I actually do in my sessions with private clients. Followed up quickly by; “What kind of … Continued

My work in sex education is mostly in the adult sector. This surprises a lot of people because when we think of  sex education, we think of kids. However, increasingly I am noticing adults need a great deal of support … Continued

Ahhh – spontaneous sex. Even the phrase alone conjures images of youth, tropical holidays, cocktails by the beach and random acts of lust in the back of cars. The longing many of us have for spontaneous sex is not so … Continued

Masturbation is a really important part of our sexuality. Practicing masturbation can actually expand and enhance our erotic experiences with others. Who woulda thunk it? Any of you that are familiar with my work know that I am a great … Continued

With the volume of sexually explicit material available to us online these days not to mention easy access to it all, it would be very simple to think that we as a species have become very comfortable with talking about sex. You … Continued

Hi, I don’t like sex. I would like to want to have to have sex but as soon as I start I can’t think about anything else but stopping. I am not in a relationship but have dated a few … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I am writing because I have been struggling for many years with my sex life. I have had several sexual experiences (all with men), but most of the time I end up feeling like sex has no meaning … Continued

This weekend I spent 24 hours in Facebook jail. That means I was blocked from using the service and warned with a stern, wagging finger from Zuckerberg and his buddies that what I was sharing was not … Continued

If you could take a pill to eat Brussels Sprouts when you don’t like them, would you take it? If you could take a pill to make yourself watch sports when you actually preferred painting, would you do it? If … Continued

Last week this email arrived in my inbox… Hi Cyndi I am in a great relationship with my partner, we have been together for a few years and things for us are pretty good – but we really just struggle in … Continued

I am part of several online groups for sex professionals, which are a great source of inspiration and also discussion. Recently, a discussion erupted into a slagging match in which one member criticised some of the senior educators in our … Continued

In my practice as a qualified sex therapist & coach, I meet many women who struggle with their sexual pleasure. After all, we live in a culture that really doesn’t value and prioritise pleasure in any way, so sometimes it’s … Continued

One of the most basic forms of human connection is touch. For so many of us it’s hard to imagine life without it. From erotic passion to profound love, there is no deeper expression of affection, emotion and eroticism. Sadly, … Continued

When sex makes headlines, it’s usually for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. Do a Google News search (see images below) for sex and you will see endless examples of sex gone bad; shame making articles, heinous violations, articles espousing bigger-better-faster-stronger, or … Continued

I just had the most astounding correspondence with a so called ”journalist” from a well-known Australian women’s magazine, wanting to ask me about owning the ”walk of shame”. When I asked her exactly what she wanted me to comment on, … Continued

One of the most powerful lessons I have received in my life and that I draw on heavily in counselling and education with clients is working with the notion of uncertainty. Uncertainty is harrowing in so many ways. It brings … Continued

Sex Positivity, can mean many things to many people. To me, being sex-positive means I embrace the notions of pleasure and sexuality in an affirmative light. I see sex and pleasure as integral parts of the human condition, and not something … Continued

In the West we confuse Beauty with Value, Worthiness and Relevance. Yet unlike these ‘things’, Beauty is fickle, subjective and impermanent. But Passion ( Beauty’s lesser valued counterpart and source of inspiration) is cultivated and refined over a lifetime. Passion … Continued

It’s the intersection between thought and feeling that rattles us so deeply about sex . Not just the acts – but all that it is, personal, physical, political, emotional spiritual and beyond. It’s this land of the unknown that invites us … Continued

Pick-up artists, pick-up workshops, dating tips, sexy profile pics, embracing your inner goddess, to cock-pic or not to cock-pic? – the list goes on and on and on. What really strikes me in all of this is one fundamental thing … Continued

Hi folks I am seeking your stories for my book. How do YOU manage to work towards maintaining a sex positive life in a sex negative culture? What kinds of things do you do to help you on the days … Continued

Dear Tropfest Team and  Matt Hardie, It is with both sadness and national embarrassment that I write to you regarding your appraisal of the film Bamboozled- which won Tropfest this year. While I would like to congratulate you – instead … Continued

People are often curious about my work. One of the questions I am most frequently asked is ‘do you see mostly couples’? In the beginning this surprised me, I couldn’t understand why people freely associated sexual enquiry primarily with people … Continued

Feelings are at the heart of satisfying sex – even if it’s erotic feelings – becoming familiar with our feelings helps us become more familiar with ourselves. No two ways about it.

Dear Cyndi I recently found out my 12 year old son has watched porn and I don’t know what to do about it. I know I can’t stop him but I just don’t know what to say or where to … Continued

Dear Cyndi I have chronic pain and a host of other medical issues that have meant I’m now on disability,  possibly permanently. The medication for it leaves me chronically exhausted but I still crave sex. I  haven’t been active … Continued

Dear Cyndi, I love flirting on online dating sites but as soon as it comes to meeting up with people I freak out and stop contact.  I’m terrified of meeting people in person. Do you have any tips for how … Continued

My current lover and I have been having quite rough sex. Hair pulling,  choking and slapping, etc. I am really enjoying it in the moment but afterwards feel a bit strange about it. He is very loving and respectful generally, … Continued

I’ve been seeing a really hot guy for a few months now and we’ve totally dived straight into a relationship. I know that we both want it to be a long term thing and I really feel that it will … Continued

In fragile times, it’s often our most intimate and close relationships that suffer. Intimacy is the glue, the enhancer that gives us the drive to connect, and in many situations, also the factor that can be a passion killer … Continued

Here is a piece I wrote during my Master’s degree at Uni of Sydney on  why comprehensive and age-appropriate sex education is essential. I was absolutely floored to find out that Sex Ed is not compulsory in all Australian schools, and … Continued

Recently I have been considering the notion of shame, and the role that it plays in the sex lives of all of us.  Shame, as distinct from embarrassment or guilt, comes initially from an external force that tells us we … Continued

  There has been an astounding response to the podcast on female anatomy and arousal that I recorded with Catherine Deveny. The response, particularly from men, has been one of praise  for not only having the discussion publicly, but also … Continued